Leonora's plans

The days dragged by. Leonard and Leonora had established a sort of routine which involved playing a game of Leonora's choice in the morning, followed by lunch prepared by Leonard with the inevitable glass of wine for Leonora, and then another game, or a snooze (for Leonora) or a read in the afternoon.

And although they teased each other while they were playing, neither of them could be bothered to argue. Tata and the little crutches were deeply disappointed. They had at least expected some fireworks especially during the games. But no, nothing. So the little crutches chatted together and dozed off, and Tata lay around sulking that she wasn't getting enough attention.

But then Leonard went back to work. Leonora had all day to herself and was horrified to discover she missed Leonard. Well, his company anyway. What an irritating man, she thought. Inveigling himself into my daily routine, and then disappearing. Tata on the other hand was secretly pleased. She got far more attention as Leonora had no-one else to talk to, and they played tugs a lot more often.

Leonard was also annoyed to discover that he missed Leonora too. At least he had work to distract him, but the easy-going relationship that he had established with Leonora wasn't there any more. He tried emailing her a couple of times during the day but it wasn't the same. And although he went home for lunch, he had little time to chat to her. By the time he had let Tata out for her run in the garden, made sandwiches (or usually toast for him), and had a cup of tea, it was time to go back. Leonora was invariably sulky too for some reason he couldn't figure out.

The truth was Leonora was feeling increasingly in the way. She wasn't doing anything useful (not that she ever did) and all she was doing was lying around and costing money, although not much it should be said. Nevertheless she thought Leonard and Mrs Leonard had done more than enough. It was time to leave. She did not want to be an unwanted guest.

But how to go about it? Even if Leonard had changed his mind and thought it was time for her to go, she knew he was not rude enough to kick her out. Perhaps she should order a taxi and sneak off when he had gone to work. She could imagine the 'phone call she would receive if she did that.

No. Best to tell Leonard she wanted to go home.

So, the next day, when he came home for lunch, she announced her intentions.

"It's time I went home Leonard. I can't spend forever and a day scrounging off you and Mrs Leonard," she said.

"I had thought of getting a taxi and sneaking off but I thought you wouldn't have been very pleased," she added.

"Damn right I wouldn't. And when were you thinking of going?"

"Tomorrow morning, or maybe afternoon, I haven't decided. Depends on the trains," she answered.

Leonard looked at her for a while without saying anything. Leonora began to worry. She didn't know whether she was going to get a lecture or an angry outburst.

"I think I'm being reasonable Leonard. You wouldn't want me to stay here and be unhappy would you?" she said quickly.

"Why would you be unhappy?" he asked.

"Anyway, I don't have time to get into a fatuous argument with you right now. Let's discuss it at the weekend," he finished.

"But Leonard, I'm telling you that I'm leaving tomorrow."

"I'm going back to work. I'll see you this evening," and he stormed, as much as you can with a limp, out of the house to drive back to work.

Well that was amazingly unsuccessful, thought Leonora to herself when he had gone. Although she had planned the conversation carefully all morning, Leonard had failed to respond with the words she had allocated to him in her head. Irritating man. All the more reason to leave. He wasn't even predictable enough to say what she wanted him to say.

"What would you do?" she asked the little crutches.

"We're happy with whatever you want to do Leonora," they said smiling at her. Leonora didn't bother asking Tata, as she could guess the answer.

She spent the rest of the afternoon faffing around on the internet, as she couldn't concentrate on her book, and playing tugs with Tata.

Leonard came in shortly after 5pm.

"Afternoon Leonora," he said.

"Hi," she said.

"Want a game of something before Mrs Leonard gets in?" he said cheerily.

Why wasn't he mentioning her proposed departure?

"I thought we were going to talk about my plans," she said.

"At dinnertime. There is more than just you to consider in this household, and I want to make sure everyone has the chance to contribute," he said pompously. "What do you want to play?"

"Nothing. I don't want to play anything at all with you. You are manipulative and horrid," she said.

"Don't be silly Leonora," he said, and dealt some cards.

Leonora couldn't resist picking them up and they spent the next hour or so in an uneasy silence playing cards.

Over dinner, Leonard said: "Leonora seems to think it is a good idea to leave tomorrow before she becomes unhappy."

Mrs Leonard looked puzzled. That really didn't make much sense to her.

Leonora was annoyed. Leonard was twisting her words. She had not said that at all.

"Well Leonora, of course you can leave whenever you want. Although you know Leonard and I are are happy for you to stay as long as you want. Are you sure you can manage at home alone on your own?" said Mrs Leonard, concerned about Leonora's sudden decision to leave.

"Leonard will drive you to the station of course," she added.

"Not tomorrow I won't. I'm busy at work. Why don't you stay over the weekend Leonora and we can think about it next week?" he said.

"And anyway, how are you going to manage without the little crutches?"

The little crutches jumped up and down. "We're going with Leonora," they said excitedly.

"Shut up, " said Leonard nastily.

"You happen to be my little crutches, on loan to Leonora while she stays here. If it wasn't for me you wouldn't be here at all so you can stop being so disloyal and pipe down.

"And what about your colleagues in the cupboard? Are you just going to leave them and go gadding off with Leonora? If the pair of you don't be quiet I'll throw you both in a heap in the cupboard, and see how you like that."

The little crutches were horrified. They stopped jumping up and down and went very quiet. They looked at Leonard with their big eyes.

"More salad, Leonora?" asked Mrs Leonard. Leonora held out her plate unthinkingly and nearly knocked over her glass of wine.

Tata was not impressed with the little crutches taking centre stage.

"Grrr ruff ruff," she barked, thinking it was time someone paid attention to her. After all she ran the house, didn't she?

"And Tata has got so used to you being here during the day now to play tugs with her all the time," said Mrs Leonard after Tata had pointed that out.

"Ruff," barked Tata, pleased to be talked about. She wandered over to Leonora and put her head on Leonora's knee.

Things were not going Leonora's way.

"So that's settled," said Leonard.

"No, it is not settled at all," said Leonora peevishly. "Why can I not decide for myself what I am going to do?"

Leonard put down his knife and fork patiently. "Leonora, I told you earlier. This household is a community, and we all get the opportunity to express our opinion and reach a decision that is for the good of everyone.

"And you clearing off when you aren't well enough, can hardly walk, taking MY crutches, leaving Tata alone during the day when she has got so used to you, is just plain selfish and unacceptable," he concluded, feeling rather pleased with himself.

Leonora's face was growing blacker.

"Anyway, Leonard is going out shooting on Sunday so we can all have a great time together on our own," said Mrs Leonard. Although she was not usually so tactless, the words fell out of her mouth before she had even realised.

The little crutches perked up. So did Tata. Leonard wondered whether he should kick Mrs Leonard under the table.

"So. You want me to stay the weekend. You aren't even going to be around for half the weekend. I seem to remember having this conversation when I first arrived. You never change Leonard, and you have no respect for me or my opinions," she said, as icily as she could manage.

"Perhaps you can bring my salad to my room, as I do not wish to continue arguing here. Oh, and don't forget my glass of wine. Or maybe you should just bring me the whole bottle."

And she stood up to make a grand exit. But she overdid it on the acting bit and nearly fell over. The little crutches rushed to help her, and she just managed to regain her balance.

"How do you think you are going to cope on your own if you can't even get up from the table without nearly falling over?" he said.

"Now shut up and sit down. I'm not a personal flippin' waiter service and I'm not bringing your food to your room. If you want to eat you can eat here with us, and stop being so childish."

Leonora was so stunned she nearly fell over again, but the little crutches were there for her and kept her as upright as they could manage.

The trouble was, Leonora was hungry, and the food smelled delicious as usual. And Leonard sounded as though he meant what he had said. She sat down, very sulkily.

"On Saturday, when Mrs Leonard is shopping and cleaning the house, how about you, me, Tata and the little crutches go geocaching on a short walk that you should be able to manage? And you can learn how to use the GPS unit. I'll even let you use the new one," he offered. How could she resist an offer like that? he thought.

Leonora looked at him in disbelief. "Only you, Leonard, would manage to mention geocaching and shooting in the same conversation."

That was unfair, he thought. It was Mrs Leonard who had mentioned the shooting. Still, it was too late so it didn't matter now.

"I think you have gone quite far enough for one day. If you can't talk about anything interesting perhaps you should shut up too," she said.

Leonard, being a discreet sort of guy occasionally, decided to say nothing and walked out to get Leonora another glass of wine.

The little crutches and Tata were perplexed. Where was the feisty Leonora that everyone (except Leonard) loved? Leonora clearly was poorly. And she should stay. They had a quick chat amongst themselves, which was rare as Tata did not normally ally herself with two silly little crutches, and agreed to vote for Leonora staying.

Leonora decided to polish off the bottle of wine.


Superlong post as missed yesterdays!