Leonard's response

Leonora went into work wondering what response she would get from Mark. She hoped he wasn't going to be difficult and go through the whole "I can't possibly accept your resignation" routine.

Fortunately he didn't. He wandered into her office mid-morning.

"Hi Leonora, I'm sorry you want to resign. But I don't want you - or anyone - to stay here if you don't want to. Not good for any of us, or the business.

"And I suppose there is an advantage, at least we don't have to keep our relationship secret any more. We can actually attend things as a couple, and maybe you can come on a few business trips with me now," he said.

Had Leonora not already finished her morning coffees, she would probably have taken a deep swig and promptly choked on it.

We this. We that. And the dreaded R word. Leonora was not into relationships. At all. She took the point of view that she had been on her own for most of her life and really did not want to get involved with anyone at her age. Relationships were for idealistic youngsters, or people who needed security, or people who read romantic novels and believed them. Relationships were most definitely NOT for Leonora.

"I'd really like to leave as soon as I can to be honest," she said, avoiding the second ghastly part of Mark's conversation.

"When would be convenient?" she asked.

Mark looked at her thoughtfully. "I suppose I could get an agency temp in for a while, then if you wanted, that would give you chance to come back.

"And if not, I'll keep the temp until I recruit someone decent. Or would you fancy working part-time?"

No. Leonora did not want to work full-time, part-time, or at all. The truth was, the novelty of working had worn off anyway, and this whole thing with Mark had just made it all too complicated.

"Right now, I really think I need a break Mark, so I'm not prepared to say that I might be coming back," she said.

And of course there is Leonard to worry about, she thought. Leonard and his trip to Morocco. Leonard and his promise to reply to her email 'later'. She had looked at his email quickly that morning before leaving for work, and although she thought the picture of Tata was adorable, she was not looking forward to whatever it was he was going to say.

".....................so what do you think?" asked Mark.

Eh? thought Leonora. What on earth was he talking about? Leonora had missed whatever it was he had said, she was so busy thinking about Leonard. Typical of Leonard, he was hundreds of miles away and still distracting her. He had no business being in her office.

"I don't really have a strong view," said Leonora, hoping that would do as an answer. At least it was true, if she didn't know what Mark had said, she could hardly have a view.

"Good, I'm glad we're both happy with the solution then. And if you change your mind or want to talk about it, don't hesitate to bring it up. It's not as though you've dug yourself into a hole."

"Thanks Mark," she said smiling sweetly at him, thinking no, the only one I ever dig myself into a hole with is horrid Leonard.

Mark was quite nice really, she thought absent-mindedly. But not nice enough that she wanted to do the R thing with him. Perhaps she should tell Mark that she was planning to shag Leonard in Morocco. Leonora reckoned she could carry off that lie quite convincingly. Still, Mark was so easy-going he would probably agree to it so that she could get both of them (Morocco and Leonard) out of her system.

Or she could tell Leonard that she was moving in with Mark, and that they were going on holiday together, so she couldn't possibly go to Morocco with Leonard. She wouldn't bother telling Leonard she had chucked the job of course.

The trouble with Leonard was that he had a nasty habit of putting Leonora on the spot and making her wriggle like a naughty schoolgirl. Either that or he was far too reasonable about everything leaving her with nothing to argue about.

She would ask the little crutches that evening what strategy they thought she should adopt.

It was a good thing she was on top of things in the office as she got very little done that day apart from wonder what Leonard was going to write to her in his email. Perhaps he would send her one of his horrid emails. One of those short cold ones with one very nasty and exceedingly well thought-out point. Leonora did not like those. Leonard did not send them very often, but when he did Leonora knew she had gone too far and started to feel guilty.

Oh Leonard, she thought. And packed up her bags to go home early and see if he had sent her an email.

Leonard of course, had not sent his promised email though. He had been far too busy at work to think about Leonora - fortunately - and when he got in that evening, he and Tata decided to go for a couple of early caches.

As they were wandering round together, he thought about what approach to take with Leonora. He had a range of tactics that he used with her temperamental behaviour, that were basically progressive although sometimes he swapped them around a bit.

They were:

1) Send an email saying "Don't be an arse Leonora."

The main advantage about this one was that he didn't have to think much, and it bought him some time while she calmed down. Of course sometimes it backfired and she sent him an even snottier email in response.

2) Send her some tale and photos of Tata, although he did tend to overuse this one a bit and he knew she saw through it. It was another easy one though, and calculated to appeal to Leonora's adoration of Tata. In practice he had actually done that last night.

3) Send her something funny. Trouble was he had to think of something witty, so there was a bit more effort involved. Still, when it worked it usually defused the situation and Leonora couldn't resist giggling and writing back nicely to him.

4) Give her a good talking to and tell her to behave herself. This was a risky one as she sometimes got even more petulant but at least she knew he was not going to stand for any more messing around. Sometimes it achieved the effect of making her back off a bit. Sometimes it had the reverse effect though and she invariably told him to fuck off and stamped off in an even worse huff.

5) If all else failed, his last resort was usually to send her a nice email. Leonard was not fond of doing this and had kept the sending of 'nice' emails to a bare minimum. But a short mail involving much grovelling on his part saying how he always got things wrong, and how wonderful she was, and how he would miss her blah blah blah usually did the trick as Leonora couldn't resist his flattering manipulative words. Leonard felt slightly queasy even thinking about it and decided that definitely wasn't the option required yet.

Of course it was always good to let her stew a bit as well, worrying about what he might be going to write. Not that he was doing it deliberately today, but he figured it didn't do any harm. A little contrition on Leonora's part was never a bad thing in Leonard's mind, and the lack of communication from him usually took the edge off her anger.

He decided to go for level one. He would send it some time tonight when he and Tata got back from geocaching.

"What do you think Tata?" he asked.

"I'll send Leonora an email telling her not to be an arse."

"Ruff," Tata rolled her eyes. She had seen these exchanges so many times that she couldn't be bothered to comment. Leonard always got his own way, it just took a bit of effort sometimes.

They got back and he uploaded the photos, but he decided to leave the email until after his tea. But then he felt so comfortable and full of nice food that he decided to have a snoozelet.

Leonora was starting to fret. Leonard hadn't sent the promised email. He hadn't sent anything. Why was he being so difficult and uncommunicative? Her fingers were itching to send him a really really snotty email, but she restrained herself and flicked around doing silly quizzes on a trivia site.

When Leonard woke up after his extended nap, he felt like shit. Then he remembered he hadn't sent that email to Leonora, so he typed it out quickly before getting on with a few things he had to prepare for the next day at work.

Leonora had gone to bed of course, gloomily depressed that Leonard hadn't got in touch with her at all. When she got up in the morning she checked for mails as usual and found Leonard's brief message.

She scowled. Tappity tap she went rapidly.

"The only one being an arse Leonard, is you, as usual."

Ping. She had waited 24 hours to see what his thoughtful response was to her genuine concerns about him lying and being untrustworthy, and all he could say was 'don't be an arse'. Leonora was not pleased.

"Fucking Leonard," she snarled over her shoulder to the little crutches as she shot out of the door to work.

The little crutches looked at each other puzzled. They decided Leonora needed cheering up, so they started concocting a plan.

Leonard fell out of bed and glanced at his i-Touch. He read Leonora's mail and laughed. Sometimes she was so predictable. Even though she could see the bait she couldn't resist biting. He went off to work smirking.