The next morning

Leonora woke up very early. The first light of the day was just starting to stream through the window.

She stretched and smiled. She had enjoyed the evening. Mrs Leonard had dished up the usual excellent food, a vegetable stir fry with a spicy rice and a fine salad.

There had been a slight disagreement between Leonora and Leonard. He had suggested adding at least some strips of beef to the stir fry, although didn't think anyone would take him seriously.

He received an icy dismissal from both women. Tata didn't care. Then he suggested some large prawns. He was particularly fond of large prawns in stir fry. After all, prawns were not meat.

Leonora put on her very best pained voice.

"Leonard, you are being difficult.

"How many times have I told you that vegetarians do not eat meat, fowl or fish?

"Anyone who does not eat meat or fowl, but eats fish is not a vegetarian, they are a pescatorian, or a food reformist, or whatever."

Leonard groaned.

"Anyway," she added. "Don't you think those large prawns with their crispy shells are rather like eating cockroaches?"

Leonard had once made the mistake of telling Leonora that he had eaten fried locusts. And that he did not like cockroaches. So she then - most unreasonably - took every opportunity to suggest he would really like fried cockroaches.

As usual, after her suggestion, Leonard felt slightly sick and went off the fried prawns.

Dinner passed without any further event, although Leonard and Leonora were rather disappointed to discover they both shared a love of fresh coriander leaves, which Mrs Leonard had thoughtfully sprinkled in both the salad and the stir fry.

Leonora went to bed shortly afterwards and Mrs Leonard and Tata soon followed, leaving Leonard to mess around on his boring internet sites and look for silly old films on television.

But when Leonora woke up she had a huge lightbulb moment.

Why was she staying for a few days? She did not get on with Leonard, they had nothing in common, and never had done.

She got out of bed, dressed quickly, left a note for Mrs Leonard thanking her for her brill hospitality but saying she had forgotten about an unavoidable arrangement she had made for that day. Then she pulled the bed covers up badly. Leonora could never make beds.

As she crept out quietly, Tata woke up and jumped up to greet her. Leonora stroked her softly and then walked out of the door.

Tata immediately ran into Leonard. She was hugely disappointed that a) Leonora was not taking her for a walk, and b) that she hadn't had a chance to go out in Leonora's Series.

She put her head on the bed to wake him up. He beamed at her.

"Arrr ruff ruff," she barked sadly.

"How do you mean Leonora's gone?" he said sleepily. "Where has she gone? She hasn't even got up yet."

And then he heard the noisy sound of the Series engine eventually starting up. He shot out of bed and nearly fell over, to see the Series disappearing out of the drive.

He looked at Tata.

"Ruff, ruff."

"OK, you told me so," he admitted.

He went into the guest bedroom to see if she had just gone for an early morning drive. No, there was nothing left. She had packed up and gone. He read the note sulkily. No mention of him. Wretched woman.

"Ruff ruff, " barked Tata brightly.

Leonard gazed at Tata in horror. Ring Leonora and ask her to come back? Not in his wildest dreams.

"Ruff," Tata added.

Well, yes, it would be good to tease her about geocaching. And his new gun. And possibly a few other things.

Tata was right. Leonora was not that bad. He decided to ring her. And tell her to stop being so silly.

Pring pring...pring pring.

Of course Leonora could hear nothing above the sound of the noisy Series engine.