The maps

After breakfast, everyone got their walking boots, apart from Tata of course, who didn't have any.

Leonard was undecided whether to take one little crutch or two, or whether to risk just taking walking poles. In the end he thought it would be nice for a couple of little crutches to go for a walk, so he took two out of the cupboard. Then they all piled into Tata's Land Rover, Tata, Mrs Leonard, Leonora, the two little crutches, and a couple of poles as well, as they were useful for beating around the bushes looking for caches. Oh, and Leonard clambered in too, of course.

They left the village behind and soon were in the beautiful countryside. Leonard's finger hovered over the CD player.

"Ruff," warned Tata, fearing the inevitable onslaught on her delicate eardrums of the ghastly Basement Jaxx or Armada Groove.

Leonard wisely decided against it. Leonora also loathed his choice of music, and his strategy for the day was to be helpful, friendly, thoughtful, and considerate because that would really annoy Leonora. She would have to try to be nice back and she would find that incredibly difficult, if not impossible.

"Where are we going for our walk?" asked Leonora excitedly, anticipating a fine walk.

"I thought we would have a couple of walks. I've got a recommendation for a few short walks around the area, and I thought it would give you chance to see a few different places," he said innocently.

"Oh, that sounds a great idea," said Leonora naively, not seeing through the ploy at all.

"That's good, I'm pleased it meets with your approval," he replied. Smiling.

"Can someone pass me a map please?" she asked.

Mrs Leonard passed her the OS map.

"Can you tell me where we are going Leonard so I can look it up on the map?" she asked. Leonora loved maps, and planning routes, so even if she hadn't got to plan this expedition she still wanted to have it clear in her head exactly where they were going.

"You might find these helpful too," said Leonard, passing the print-outs from the geocaching website. "They show the detail of the short walks."

"Thanks, that's great," she said, thinking to herself that Leonard was really trying very hard to be nice today. She felt quite warm towards him and wondered why she had ever thought he was horrid.

She opened out the first sheet of A4. And couldn't believe her eyes. Then she looked at the rest of them. Every single one was GEOCACHING. Leonard sneaked a look at her face in the driver's mirror and nearly laughed out loud. This was such fun.

"Leonard," she said in a very disbelieving voice.

"I think you have given me the wrong maps. These," and she paused, and swallowed deeply, "are geocaching maps."

"Yeah, that's right," he said nonchalantly, although at this point he was really struggling to keep the giggling out of his voice.

"Leonard. You don't seriously mean to tell me that these short walks we are going on are hunting for those stupid caches of tat treasure?"

"Yes."

"Leonard," she sighed heavily. "You know I dislike geocaching intensely and think it is a pointless waste of time. You told me we were going for a walk. Not geocaching."

"Leonora," he replied kindly, in the helpful explanatory tone of voice normally used with a spoilt five-year-old, "I did tell you we were going for a walk, and we are.

"If you did not want to go geocaching perhaps you should have said so. Or you should have asked if that was my intention. It is hardly my fault if you weren't clear about what you wanted to do or you didn't ask the right questions. Is it?

"And we all know that the main reason you don't like geocaching, is because the only time you have tried to find a cache near your home, you failed miserably. Not just once, or twice, but at least three times to my knowledge."

Leonard was well into his stride with his lecture. Mrs Leonard and Tata were both looking out of the window.

Leonard continued. "Of course, it is unfortunate that you don't wish to spend on even a second-hand GPS because that might help you locate a cache. And as you know, I am always willing to teach you when you come out with us. You might even learn something.

"If you don't wish to join us hunting for the caches, you can just enjoy the walk, or run in the river with Tata, or dig a few holes in the sand with her when we get to the beach." Leonard decided to end there.

Both Mrs Leonard and Tata looked at Leonard quizzically. Neither of them were aware that Leonora liked running in rivers or digging holes in the sand. Tata was rather impressed with the idea though and promptly dropped her head onto Leonora's shoulder with a thud and whimpered softly at her.

Leonora was speechless. It took her some time to absorb Leonard's comments.

Eventually...."Leonard, I really do not know which I detest the most. You or geocaching. But the combination of the two is just unbearable."

"Well Leonora you have two choices. Stay in the car when we go for the walks. Or get out and come with us. Up to you."

Have that Leonora. Round two, or is it round three? to me, he thought.

With a very black face, in the back of Tata's Land Rover, Leonora began to plot her revenge.