Fleeting visit

Plan A - We drive back to the finca on New Year's Day and spend a long leisurely weekend there, coming back on Sunday.

Plan B - Partner scuppers Plan A by deciding to work the Friday (Jan 2).

Plan C - I decide to go back on the bus Saturday/Sunday.

Plan D - Partner offers to drive back Saturday, and back again on Sunday. Sounds a good one.

Plan E - We both wake up feeling like shit on Saturday. I tell him not to drive when he is feeling rough. I feel so bad I go back to bed.

What actually happened - was that I went back on Sunday. Felt too ropey to walk to the frontier so got the bus. It was a good journey back to Málaga, I spent the two and a half hours snoozing (which I couldn't really have done in the Landy - it would have been rather rude), completing a couple of Sudokus in the papers I found on the bus, and reading a novel. John le Carre's 'Call for the Dead' in case anyone is interested.

Discovered the router I had taken back didn't work. Thought the mouse wasn't working either, until I discovered I had pulled out the wrong USB cord. Phew! Spent the evening reading in bed. Put a wash on to lull me to sleep.

Got up leisurely, hung washing out, washed out chicken drinkers, topped up the corn, watched the cockerel jumping on one of the chickens (Negrita), and then went off to the shop to buy them some lettuce.

Met the neighbours on the way back up the street.

"Hola," says me.

"Hola, que pasa?" (What's happening)

"Nada, compro lechuga para las gallinas como siempre." (I'm buying lettuce for the chickens as usual).

Ratatatatatata in Spanish ....." has venido?" (have you come?)

"Si," I said. Looked at puzzled faces. Ooops, wrong answer. If they knew the answer why were they asking me the question?

"Como?" I asked, realising I had stuffed it up.

"Tu solamente has venido?" she repeated, with a few more words just to make it clear for the thick inglesa.

"Ah, si," I said finally getting the answer right. Fairly obvious I had turned up on my own. No dirty big Land Rover sitting outside, no dog, and no chatter in the house.

So then I explained that Partner was poorly, coughing and had got a cold on his chest.

Well, why doesn't he come up here if he is poorly. It's nicer to be here if he is poorly? (or something on those lines). Er, because he doesn't want to drive.

As 80-year-old Adelina doesn't drive, I don't think she realised that when in charge of a large piece of metal, on busy roads, occasionally going at speed (not often in ours), it's a good idea to be fully compus mentus, rather than slightly dizzy, nauseous, shaky legs, and all the other things that accompany 'flu.

Her daughter helpfully repeated that Partner didn't want to drive.

"No quiere conducir," she said.

Then we got onto employment - or rather unemployment. And agreed it was bad.

"Feliz año nuevo," I said, thinking I would never get away.

"Igualmente," they said. (same to you)

"Hasta la proxima," I said. (until the next time).

Scooted home, dished up the lettuce. Then realised I still had an hour to wait for the bus into town, where I had to go and pay the 'phone bill at the post office.

Should I walk the 40min track? With a travel bag, and a BIG winter coat? No doubt the sun would come out mid-way and I would be roasted as well as feeling dizzy and flu-ey. No. Best to sit around and wander down to the bus stop.

And that's exactly what I did. Bus was irritatingly prompt, so just as well I legged it to the bus stop five mins before. There was the usual queue of 15 or 20 people in front of me but the counter staff there were efficient too - maybe a 15 minute wait.

No direct bus to Málaga so got a ticket for the next stopping one. Except, one turned up that was obviously running late. It's a sort of semi-direct, it doesn't stop to pick up, but it does drop people off who got on earlier on the journey.

And then, what a dilemma in Málaga. To get the direct bus to Algeciras which only has one stop and so takes around 1:50, or the stopping bus to La Linea which takes around 2:40.

I decided on the Algi bus. Partly because I was feeling achey, and nearly three hours on a bus is not good when back/legs are starting to twinge. And partly because it was due to leave 15 mins earlier than the other.

Except it wasn't even in when it was due to leave, and people were boarding the other bus. Had I made the wrong decision? Looked at the queue for the ticket office. Half a dozen people. But if I got stuck in the queue, my bus might come in and leave.

Went to the La Linea driver and asked if I would be able to change my ticket at the office. 'Pregunte a la taquilla," he said. Well, that was really helpful.

Suddenly our bus came in. On we all jumped. Well, boarded slowly actually. But although it left 15 mins late at least it left before the other one. Settled down for a snooze and a read.

Finally finished my other book. Blood River by Tim Butcher. here is a review.

Hopped off the bus at Algi and immediately onto one for La Linea. Ouf. Someone was looking after me. Arrived at La Linea and was pleased to see the bus from Málaga had not arrive. Sometimes we do make the right decisions.

Arrived to home to find poor Partner had been in bed all day. After the morning dog walk he had fallen back into bed, aching limbs, shaking legs, dizzy, and basically totally useless. So useless that when I arrived he hadn't finished the drying, put the wash on, or even had anything to eat or drink.

Just as well I decided to go on my own on Sunday. Another right decision.

Pros and cons

Leonora enjoyed herself on Friday night. The food was good and so was the sex. She decided not to mention Morocco.

On Saturday morning, Leonora and Mark had a leisurely breakfast and then Leonora said she had some things to do at home.

Mark asked her to stay over the weekend, but she refused. She saw his look of disappointment though, and quickly added that they could meet up on Sunday.

Oh dear, she thought, I really can't mention this silly trip to Morocco right now.

Leonora felt slightly guilty when she shut the door on Mark and Sheba, wondering if he had expected her to ask him to stay longer, or for the night, or something.

She shrugged her shoulders and walked back up the hall.

"Leonora! Leonora!" exclaimed the first little crutch gleefully.

"We've missed you lots," added the second one.

Poor dears she thought. Why does everyone want my company all of a sudden? She decided not to tell them she was going back to Mark's on Sunday.

She had a fine afternoon doing nothing in particular, although she grudgingly admitted to herself that she enjoyed her meal on Friday better than the half-hearted attempt she made for herself that night.

On Sunday morning she bit the bullet and told the little crutches she was going out again.

"Oh," said the first little crutch, with a crestfallen face. "We'll see you tonight then."

"Er, I don't know, I might be staying over again," she admitted. Much as she loved them, the attraction of a man who could cook and a beautiful GSD was pretty strong.

"Have a nice time Leonora," said the second one sadly. "We'll be pleased to see you whenever you get back."

Sunday passed quickly, dog walks, more food, more sex, and a generally pleasant day. Leonora thought it would be churlish of her to ask Mark to take her home, so stayed the night. She didn't feel like mentioning Morocco though.

On Monday morning, Mark bounced up bright and early.

"Hey Leonora, you don't have to get up. Why don't you stay here all day, or at least until lunchtime and then I can come and take you home?"

"Don't be silly - I can get home myself," she said.

"Or if you want to get up now, I can drop you and Sheba off at your place, and you can spend the day together. I'll pick her up after work."

Leonora was interested. That sounded a very attractive proposition. Although she wasn't sure if Mark was finding ways to make sure he kept tabs on her every day.

"Well, if you think it won't put Sheba out of sorts, that sounds OK to me," she said.

So the three of them set off back to Leonora's and Mark went off to work, pleased with the way the weekend had gone. He was wondering when to broach the question of the business trip to Germany.

Sheba ran round Leonora's apartment, and when she had checked everything out, she curled up in a heap and went to sleep next to Leonora in the sitting room.

Leonora decided the time had come to send Leonard 'the' email. She realised she hadn't mentioned it to Mark because there wasn't any point.

"Hi Leonard
I'm really sorry but I just don't think it's a good idea for us to go to Morocco together. Don't be annoyed with me, but it won't work out. Please don't ask me again.
Sorry - seriously.
Leonora."

She pressed the send button before she had chance to change her mind.

Then she decided to justify her decision by compiling a pros and cons list. Leonora loved to write pros and cons lists.

She grabbed a pen and some paper and lay on the sofa, jotting down the pros.

Adventure
Fun to plan
Camping and independence
Opportunity to revise her French
And maybe learn some Arabic
Lots of super historic places to visit
The ferry crossings (Leonora loved ships)
Leonard would probably drive most/all of the time so she could sit in the passenger seat watching the world pass by
She could navigate (Leonora loved navigating)
Nice and warm during the day, she might even get a little bit of sun on her pale skin

Leonora sighed as she almost felt the wind in her hair and the warm sun on her face. She carried on with the list.

Leonard could be good fun at times, he did make her laugh
He was adaptable too and easy-going
He was patient and tolerant, even when she was at her most brattish
She always felt safe with him - apart from when they fell down on cliff paths together
He was organised and practical
Conversation was always easy, or they didn't even have to talk - there were no embarrassing silences

Leonora suddenly realised she hadn't started on the cons. She paused. What were the cons? Oh yes.

Leonard was bossy
And arrogant
And patronising

Leonora looked at her list. It did not look right. She had 16 pros and three cons. She hastily scribbled down a few more cons.

Leonard would probably insist on geocaching
He smoked
He wasn't vegetarian

This list was not working properly. She needed to knock out the travel bit and just concentrate on Leonard. Six pros, six cons. Well, that would have to do to justify her decision for now, because it was too late to change her mind. She decided a nap was in order to see if inspiration came to her in her sleep.

Leonora went for a blanket and curled up on the sofa. Sheba was still curled up next to her on the floor, and the two of them snoozed away happily.

Leonard's 'phone call

Leonora shut her eyes and clenched her fists. She decided not to sit down, she always felt so much more assertive on the 'phone standing up.

"Hello Leonard," she said, as coldly as possible.

"I really didn't feel like getting into a ridiculous email exchange so I thought we could speak directly about Morocco," he said.

"Here are the options," he continued, before she had chance to interrupt.

"One, you fulfil your word and come with me as agreed.

"Two, you decide for once and for all that you are not coming, and pay me the difference that I will lose by cancelling the ferry.

"Three, you decide to go with your boyfriend and we transfer the booking into your name, and you pay that difference too.

"Is that clear?"

Leonora was speechless. But not for long.

"Leonard, it is not my fault that you deliberately misled me, and then went ahead and booked a ferry crossing after you had got my agreement to come through lies and deception."

Leonora liked that and was pleased with herself. She thought quickly though.

It would be a pain to cancel it now, and then later wish she had agreed to go, especially if she was no longer seeing Mark. And she wasn't keen on the idea of three weeks with Mark. She was having enough problems controlling Mark as it was. Prevarication was called for.

"Listen Leonard, I have to be honest with you," she said. Nice dig there she thought, more than you were with me.

"I've chucked my job, and I finish tomorrow, so I'm honestly a bit pre-occupied about that at the moment. I haven't really thought any more about this Morocco trip."

"Well, if you've chucked your job that's one thing less to worry about it, isn't it?" asked Leonard logically.

The thing was, Leonard did want her to come. He decided to be reasonable.

"Look, why don't you take the weekend to think about it? What isn't fair to either of us, is to leave it up in the air, or for you to keep changing your mind all the time," he said.

"That's a bit uncalled-for," she snapped.

"I'm sorry," he said conciliatorily. "I meant, it's not fair if you say you are going to come and then back out a couple of weeks beforehand and I lose virtually all the booking cost, or if you say you don't want to go now and then decide later on that you do, and the booking costs more."

Leonard was obsessed with the cost of things, she thought. He wasn't even poor.

"Anyway what about your man? Do you want to go with him? Does he even have a four wheel drive?" asked Leonard curiously.

"Yes he does actually," she replied.

"So what is it?"

"A Toyota Land Cruiser," she said, waiting for the sarcastic comment from Leonard, given that both of them were Land Rover enthusiasts.

But Leonard just said "Is it any good?"

"Yes, seems all right to me, parts are a bit dear, and it is a bit new for my liking, might suit you though," she said snarkily.

"Well, do you want to go with him?" asked Leonard, hoping she would say no, and he could knock that one on the head for good.

He had got used to being the permanent man in Leonora's life, and had discovered he wasn't keen on someone else taking centre stage.

"Don't know," said Leonora. "Don't know if I'll still be seeing him in a few months' time either. Listen, I'm seeing him over the weekend, I'll discuss it with him then, OK?"

She paused and then continued.

"You see, the other thing is, if I am seeing him, I don't know how he would feel about me going away with you for three weeks.

"After all, if it was the other way round, I don't think I would be very happy with him spending three weeks with another woman in a confined space," she said.

"You mean if he was spending three weeks with a grey-haired, overweight, bossy, middle-aged cousin who smoked?" asked Leonard sarcastically, given that was Leonora's usual description of him.

"Don't you trust him?" he added smugly.

"Leonard you are just being difficult now. Leave it. I've told you I'll speak to him about it this weekend. Stop hassling me," she said wearily.

He noticed the change in the tone of her voice and realised he had said enough.

"All right then, let's speak after the weekend when you have had time to think about it. Enjoy your weekend. Tata sends her love, of course," he said.

"Bye Leonard," she said, and put the 'phone down. She wandered dismally over to the sofa and threw herself on it, undecided what to do about anything.

Leonora's day

Leonora was sitting in her office annoyed with Leonard, and totally failing to concentrate on work because she was so preoccupied with horrid Leonard.

As usual, Mark walked in mid-morning.

"Morning Leonora.

"I've spoken to payroll and sorted out your wages so that you get paid up to next week, but you can leave tomorrow as we agreed yesterday."

He smiled at her.

Is that the conversation I missed yesterday? wondered Leonora. Just as well Mark's told me, I would have looked such a prat coming in on Monday if I was meant to have finished on Friday.

Leonard's fault, she thought, and scowled. Mark saw the change in her expression.

"Something wrong?" asked Mark, sounding worried.

"No, no, sorry Mark, that's fine. I was just worrying whether or not I could get everything finished for tomorrow, but I'm sure I can.

"Thanks, you've been super about all this," she said, and beamed at him.

He really was a nice guy. Why was she spending her time obsessing over stupid Leonard when she had this one wound round her little finger?

"I thought to celebrate you could come to my house tomorrow night after work, and I'll cook dinner. We can have a nice long walk with Sheba first, and then a romantic meal in. What do you reckon?"

Leonora felt like vomiting. What is it with these men that talk about romantic dinners? Food is for eating and is very nice. Then there is sex, which can come before or afterwards. Bit messy in the middle of eating, she thought. Distracting too from decent food.

But romantic anything?? She remembered not to pull a face this time though.

"Oh, a meal would be lovely Mark. You're such a good cook, I really enjoy it when you cook for me," she said winningly. "And of course, Sheba is such a darling."

Mark smiled at her flattery, feeling pleased with himself. He touched her lightly on the shoulder.

"That's great. I'm sure we'll see each other before then, but if not, you can just come home with me, maybe we can get away early too."

Alarm bells. Oh no. Mark was determined to let the whole world know that they were A Couple. In A Relationship.

"Oh Mark, it would be much easier if I go home first and get changed and everything like that. Then I'll either make my own way over to your place, or give you a ring to meet up somewhere. Is that OK?" she said.

"Whatever suits," said Mark, still pleased with Leonora's agreeable response to everything. "See you later then."

When he'd gone out of the office, Leonora breathed deeply, wondering how on earth she was going to prevent this nice casual relationship escalating out of hand.

In fact, she even forgot about horrid Leonard. She cracked on with her work for the rest of the day.

When she got in, she quickly turned on the computer to see what nasty emails Leonard might have sent her. Nothing. Again.

She considered sending another one to him.

"I assume from your lack of response that you fully accept that you are a total and utter arse........"

Maybe not.

She went through to the kitchen to put something on for tea.

"How are you today darlings?" she called to the little crutches.

"We've got a plan Leonora," they replied.

"Oh, that's interesting," she said. I could do with a few plans in my life to get it sorted.

"What's that?"

"We were thinking it might be nice for the other three little crutches to come here and live with us," they said, slightly hesitantly.

"You see, last time we were at Leonard's they were very sad and lonely," said the first little crutch.

"They are just abandoned in Leonard's store cupboard because he doesn't care about them any more," said the second one.

"And they are worried that one day he will just throw them out on the scrap heap," added the first one.

"You see, although we didn't get on when we last talked to them because they were so miserable and we have a super life with you, we thought....." said the second one.

"We thought," said the first little crutch interrupting quickly as the second one was talking too much, "that we could all be happy and friends again if you would let them live here."

The second little crutch glared at the first one for interrupting. The first one smirked. It had started and finished the conversation.

"Only if you want of course Leonora," said the second one, much to the annoyance of the first little crutch who stopped smirking.

"Well, that's a very nice thought of you," said Leonora, disappointed they hadn't come up with a magical solution for her to sort the men in her life, but touched by their generous and kind nature.

"Trouble is right now, I'm not really getting on very well with Leonard. If I mention adopting the other little crutches, he'll probably demand I give you back and you will all end up on the scrap heap."

The little crutches opened their big eyes wide and looked horrified. They didn't want to go anywhere. They loved living with Leonora. She was kind and funny and they felt wanted, even though she didn't need them any more.

Leonora felt guilty when she saw the look on their faces.

"I wouldn't let him have you back of course," she said. "I just need to time it right to ask for the other three."

The little crutches breathed a sigh of relief. The truth was Leonora wasn't convinced she wanted five bickering little crutches cluttering up her hallway. Two were manageable but another three would make the place look even more untidy, and there was much more potential for argument and chaos. Still, she would think about it. But not right now.

After tea, she thought about messing around on the internet, but decided to lie on the sofa instead with a book.

Pring pring. Pring pring.

She wandered over to the 'phone. No number came up.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hello Leonora." The unmistakeable tone of an assertive Leonard.

Leonard's response

Leonora went into work wondering what response she would get from Mark. She hoped he wasn't going to be difficult and go through the whole "I can't possibly accept your resignation" routine.

Fortunately he didn't. He wandered into her office mid-morning.

"Hi Leonora, I'm sorry you want to resign. But I don't want you - or anyone - to stay here if you don't want to. Not good for any of us, or the business.

"And I suppose there is an advantage, at least we don't have to keep our relationship secret any more. We can actually attend things as a couple, and maybe you can come on a few business trips with me now," he said.

Had Leonora not already finished her morning coffees, she would probably have taken a deep swig and promptly choked on it.

We this. We that. And the dreaded R word. Leonora was not into relationships. At all. She took the point of view that she had been on her own for most of her life and really did not want to get involved with anyone at her age. Relationships were for idealistic youngsters, or people who needed security, or people who read romantic novels and believed them. Relationships were most definitely NOT for Leonora.

"I'd really like to leave as soon as I can to be honest," she said, avoiding the second ghastly part of Mark's conversation.

"When would be convenient?" she asked.

Mark looked at her thoughtfully. "I suppose I could get an agency temp in for a while, then if you wanted, that would give you chance to come back.

"And if not, I'll keep the temp until I recruit someone decent. Or would you fancy working part-time?"

No. Leonora did not want to work full-time, part-time, or at all. The truth was, the novelty of working had worn off anyway, and this whole thing with Mark had just made it all too complicated.

"Right now, I really think I need a break Mark, so I'm not prepared to say that I might be coming back," she said.

And of course there is Leonard to worry about, she thought. Leonard and his trip to Morocco. Leonard and his promise to reply to her email 'later'. She had looked at his email quickly that morning before leaving for work, and although she thought the picture of Tata was adorable, she was not looking forward to whatever it was he was going to say.

".....................so what do you think?" asked Mark.

Eh? thought Leonora. What on earth was he talking about? Leonora had missed whatever it was he had said, she was so busy thinking about Leonard. Typical of Leonard, he was hundreds of miles away and still distracting her. He had no business being in her office.

"I don't really have a strong view," said Leonora, hoping that would do as an answer. At least it was true, if she didn't know what Mark had said, she could hardly have a view.

"Good, I'm glad we're both happy with the solution then. And if you change your mind or want to talk about it, don't hesitate to bring it up. It's not as though you've dug yourself into a hole."

"Thanks Mark," she said smiling sweetly at him, thinking no, the only one I ever dig myself into a hole with is horrid Leonard.

Mark was quite nice really, she thought absent-mindedly. But not nice enough that she wanted to do the R thing with him. Perhaps she should tell Mark that she was planning to shag Leonard in Morocco. Leonora reckoned she could carry off that lie quite convincingly. Still, Mark was so easy-going he would probably agree to it so that she could get both of them (Morocco and Leonard) out of her system.

Or she could tell Leonard that she was moving in with Mark, and that they were going on holiday together, so she couldn't possibly go to Morocco with Leonard. She wouldn't bother telling Leonard she had chucked the job of course.

The trouble with Leonard was that he had a nasty habit of putting Leonora on the spot and making her wriggle like a naughty schoolgirl. Either that or he was far too reasonable about everything leaving her with nothing to argue about.

She would ask the little crutches that evening what strategy they thought she should adopt.

It was a good thing she was on top of things in the office as she got very little done that day apart from wonder what Leonard was going to write to her in his email. Perhaps he would send her one of his horrid emails. One of those short cold ones with one very nasty and exceedingly well thought-out point. Leonora did not like those. Leonard did not send them very often, but when he did Leonora knew she had gone too far and started to feel guilty.

Oh Leonard, she thought. And packed up her bags to go home early and see if he had sent her an email.

Leonard of course, had not sent his promised email though. He had been far too busy at work to think about Leonora - fortunately - and when he got in that evening, he and Tata decided to go for a couple of early caches.

As they were wandering round together, he thought about what approach to take with Leonora. He had a range of tactics that he used with her temperamental behaviour, that were basically progressive although sometimes he swapped them around a bit.

They were:

1) Send an email saying "Don't be an arse Leonora."

The main advantage about this one was that he didn't have to think much, and it bought him some time while she calmed down. Of course sometimes it backfired and she sent him an even snottier email in response.

2) Send her some tale and photos of Tata, although he did tend to overuse this one a bit and he knew she saw through it. It was another easy one though, and calculated to appeal to Leonora's adoration of Tata. In practice he had actually done that last night.

3) Send her something funny. Trouble was he had to think of something witty, so there was a bit more effort involved. Still, when it worked it usually defused the situation and Leonora couldn't resist giggling and writing back nicely to him.

4) Give her a good talking to and tell her to behave herself. This was a risky one as she sometimes got even more petulant but at least she knew he was not going to stand for any more messing around. Sometimes it achieved the effect of making her back off a bit. Sometimes it had the reverse effect though and she invariably told him to fuck off and stamped off in an even worse huff.

5) If all else failed, his last resort was usually to send her a nice email. Leonard was not fond of doing this and had kept the sending of 'nice' emails to a bare minimum. But a short mail involving much grovelling on his part saying how he always got things wrong, and how wonderful she was, and how he would miss her blah blah blah usually did the trick as Leonora couldn't resist his flattering manipulative words. Leonard felt slightly queasy even thinking about it and decided that definitely wasn't the option required yet.

Of course it was always good to let her stew a bit as well, worrying about what he might be going to write. Not that he was doing it deliberately today, but he figured it didn't do any harm. A little contrition on Leonora's part was never a bad thing in Leonard's mind, and the lack of communication from him usually took the edge off her anger.

He decided to go for level one. He would send it some time tonight when he and Tata got back from geocaching.

"What do you think Tata?" he asked.

"I'll send Leonora an email telling her not to be an arse."

"Ruff," Tata rolled her eyes. She had seen these exchanges so many times that she couldn't be bothered to comment. Leonard always got his own way, it just took a bit of effort sometimes.

They got back and he uploaded the photos, but he decided to leave the email until after his tea. But then he felt so comfortable and full of nice food that he decided to have a snoozelet.

Leonora was starting to fret. Leonard hadn't sent the promised email. He hadn't sent anything. Why was he being so difficult and uncommunicative? Her fingers were itching to send him a really really snotty email, but she restrained herself and flicked around doing silly quizzes on a trivia site.

When Leonard woke up after his extended nap, he felt like shit. Then he remembered he hadn't sent that email to Leonora, so he typed it out quickly before getting on with a few things he had to prepare for the next day at work.

Leonora had gone to bed of course, gloomily depressed that Leonard hadn't got in touch with her at all. When she got up in the morning she checked for mails as usual and found Leonard's brief message.

She scowled. Tappity tap she went rapidly.

"The only one being an arse Leonard, is you, as usual."

Ping. She had waited 24 hours to see what his thoughtful response was to her genuine concerns about him lying and being untrustworthy, and all he could say was 'don't be an arse'. Leonora was not pleased.

"Fucking Leonard," she snarled over her shoulder to the little crutches as she shot out of the door to work.

The little crutches looked at each other puzzled. They decided Leonora needed cheering up, so they started concocting a plan.

Leonard fell out of bed and glanced at his i-Touch. He read Leonora's mail and laughed. Sometimes she was so predictable. Even though she could see the bait she couldn't resist biting. He went off to work smirking.

Later.... elsewhere

The recipients of Leonora's emails were not pleased with them.

Mark read her resignation mail, and shrugged his shoulders. He would speak to her in the morning about it.

He was actually more worried about the sudden appearance of Leonora's alleged cousin, and her willingness to go gadding off to Morocco with him for three weeks. Not that Mark was hugely suspicious but it did seem a bit odd.

"Come on Sheba, off to bed," he said. Sheba dutifully followed him into the bedroom and curled round on her rug next to his bed.

She usually stayed there most of the night, but sometimes she would wander round the house in the early hours, checking everything was all right, and maybe snooze for a while near the main door. Sheba took her role as Top Guard Dog very seriously. After all she was a GSD, which as everyone knows is really short for a Guard and Sentry Dog.

Leonard read Leonora's email three times. He couldn't believe it. Even when he had read it through the third time, he thought he was mis-reading it.

Only Leonora, but only Leonora, would ask him to be totally honest and then victimise him for it. He might as well have lied to her in the first place. Flippin' woman. He didn't know whether he wanted to shake her or slap her. She was such a child.

Leonard also decided not to reply. He looked round at Tata. There was only one thing for it.

"Fancy a night cache Tata?" he asked.

"Ruff, ruff," she answered. Tata was always up for it.

Why weren't women more like Tata, mused Leonard.

Off they went in Tata's Land Rover, to grope around in the dark countryside looking for little tiny pots of treasure.

Leonard put Leonora out of his head, and concentrated on the challenge ahead of him. He didn't even put any horrid music on, much to Tata's relief.

Tata and Leonard hunted for the cache in the peace and quiet of the night. They thoroughly enjoyed the walk, but only located the cache through the clue. There were only five reflectors present and there was quite a distance between the last reflector and the cache area. They took a travel bug and a coin.

Tata sat happily for her picture and pulled a silly face at the camera.

"Ruff ruff ruff?" she asked Leonard.

"Of course, we'll put it on the geocaching site as soon as we get back," he replied.

"Aruff ruff?" she barked.

"Leonora? Well I don't know. She just sent me a nasty email, so I'm not too keen on mailing her just now," said Leonard.

But then he saw the disappointed look on Tata's face, and said quickly:

"I could just send her your image though, telling her about our cache, I'm sure she will like that."

Tata smiled again. She'd realised Leonard had not been happy with the email from Leonora, and thought the situation needed a bit of help.

Although Leonora was not part of the household, Tata considered her to be extended family and a sort of semi-permanent member, so she needed to be managed just like everyone else.

Nobody could ever fall out about Tata. She smirked as they walked back to her Land Rover, and she climbed elegantly in the back.

When they arrived home, Leonard dutifully loaded up the images onto the caching site and then sent the one of Tata to Leonora.



"Hi Leonora

"Just been out caching with Tata for a special night time one involving reflectors. It wasn't easy to find, but we got there in the end. Tata did a special pose for you. I'll reply to your other mail later.

"Leonard."

He sat back and read it again. Leonard was pleased with himself. He was always so diplomatic with Leonora when she threw her tantrums. Really she didn't deserve it, but he was fond of her and he didn't want to fall out with her.

Tata sighed her approval and decided it was time for a snooze. The house was quiet and Leonard spent the next hour or so flitting between forums, and watching the news.

He wondered how to tackle Leonora, but decided that was best left for later. He didn't feel like thinking about it right now, but at least he had offered an olive branch.

Men

When Mark turned up, they decided to take Sheba out for a walk first, and then heat up the curry afterwards.

Sheba was suitably excited to be going out in the evening, and they wandered around the streets for ages.

Leonora had decided to broach the subject over the meal, it seemed easier. Of course, she had been assuming Mark wouldn't be staying the night, but that meant he couldn't drink.

"Mark, do you want a drink or not, because obviously with you wanting to drive home, it might not be a good idea," she said, hoping that was tactful enough.

"I thought I might like to stay, if that's not too much of an invasion of your personal space," he said.

"OK, whatever suits," she replied, thinking best not to put him in a bad mood. "So, in that case would you like a glass of wine?"

"Yes. That would be great," he said, and smiled at her.

Leonora put a bowl of water down for Sheba first, and then poured a couple of large glasses of wine. One each of course, not two for Mark. She put the curry on to warm up, and then took a deep breath.

"I'm going on a trip to Morocco for three weeks or so," she said. "It's been booked, and I gave the commitment before I started the job.

"If I can't take the leave from work, I'll understand, and hand in my resignation." Oouf. It was out. She looked at him.

"Shouldn't be a problem. What are the dates?" he said.

"I don't know yet. I'm waiting for confirmation," she said.

"So it has been booked has it?" he asked.

"Yes," she said.

"Is it an organised tour then? Can I join in?" he asked.

Leonora was stunned. "Er, I don't think we can both take leave from the office for three weeks at once, it might look a bit obvious," she said quickly.

"Suppose so. It's getting to be a bit of a nuisance keeping it quiet when it gets in the way of what we want to do," he answered.

'What we want to do....' Leonora was horrified. 'We', ie Leonora, didn't want to do anything more than they were doing. Alarm bells were beginning to ring.

"Anyway, it's not a tour," she said. "I'm going with my cousin."

"You've not mentioned her before, what's she like?" he asked.

"Not a her. Him. He's OK on a good day," she answered.

"Him? You're going with a male cousin for three weeks? Is he gay?" asked Mark.

"Not that I know of. He's married and has a few kids, so I guess at most he could be bi, but he's not mentioned it," she replied glibly, thinking how gutted Leonard would be if he could hear the conversation. And how bigoted and presumptious Mark was.

"Are you planning on fucking him? Or are you fucking him already? Or what? And is his wife going too? Menage a trois?" Mark was looking very confused.

"No, no, no, no, and no again," she said. "Well no to all of them really."

"Do I get to meet him?" asked Mark.

"NO," she said, rather too loudly. "Look, there's nothing to it. I wanted to tell you now, so that you know, and if it's a problem, I'll resign. That's all."

"No, it's no problem. Just a bit disappointed you don't want to spend three weeks in Morocco with me. That's all," he said, sadly.

Men, she thought. Always trying to manipulate you.

They ate their food in silence.

"I guess I'll go home after all," said Mark. "See you tomorrow."

Leonora was relieved. "Yeah. Thanks for coming round and for the meal."

Mark raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

They walked to the door together, Sheba wondering why everyone was so quiet.

"Night Mark," said Leonora waiting for a kiss.

"Night," he said, and walked out of the door. Leaving her waiting for that kiss.

She turned round to the little crutches who were leaning in the hall as usual.

"Men huh?"

Then she went to see if Leonard had sent that email yet. Mark's question about whether it had been booked or not had set doubts in her mind.

She flicked on the screen. One email.

"Hi Leonora

"Here are the dates and details for the crossings. Hope you can sort it out at work. Looking forward to seeing you and planning our trip........"

She looked at the screen thoughtfully.

And decided to send an email to Mark. Giving him her resignation. If she didn't do it now, she would probably put it off.

She drafted it and then edited it the usual half dozen times.

But before she pressed send, she picked up the 'phone. Leonard was always up at silly hours.

"Hi Leonard," she said.

"Hey, Leonora, did you get my email?" he said.

"Yeah thanks. When did you book the ferry?" she asked.

"What?"

"When did you book the ferry? Before or after you rang me?" she asked again.

"I booked it today," he replied.

"Before or after you rang me? I want the truth Leonard," she said. Despite all their fall outs and arguments, the one thing that remained between Leonora and Leonard was a feeling of trust.

Although they joked and teased and sulked lots, if one of them asked for an honest answer they expected it.

"I rang the ferry companies before I rang you," replied Leonard.

Not good enough, thought Leonora. Too evasive. And you wouldn't risk losing the money either for the booking if I cancelled.

"Yeah right. But when did you book, and give those all important credit card details Leonard?"

Shit, he thought. Shit, she's going to back out now. Should I lie?

Leonora sensed the hesitation on the other end of the 'phone.

"Don't lie Leonard. If we are going to spend three weeks alone together, I want the truth."

"After," he finally said, waiting for the 'phone to get slammed down.

"Bit manipulative, and not entirely honest when you rang me, wouldn't you say?" she asked calmly.

"Sorry," he said. "I didn't want to risk you backing out. I do want you to come with me Leonora."

"It's OK, I'll come. I might chuck the job though, although Mark seems to think it will be OK anyway."

"Well why chuck it then?" asked Leonard. "Got to think of the money."

"Just need a bit of space that's all. Anyway, I'll be down at some point, so we can catch up then, love to Tata," she said. And put down the 'phone.

Leonard put the 'phone down with a huge feeling of relief. He had really thought she was going to back out. For the first time ever he had been tempted to lie to her when she had asked him for the truth. He hadn't realised how much he wanted her to go on this trip with him before that.

Leonora sent the formal resignation to Mark, with a vague note saying she really needed to take some time out to achieve some personal goals, blah blah.

She sat back and felt better.

Then she composed another email to Leonard. Lying bastard.

"Hi Leonard

"I really don't think I want to spend three weeks with someone relying on them and having to trust them, when they can't even be honest about a ferry booking.

"So I won't be coming down for the weekend either. There's nothing to discuss.

"Shame you felt the need to lie to me.

"Leonora."

She looked at the mail and couldn't decide whether to send it or not. Then she decided to get another glass of wine while she thought about it.

And once she sat down again, she realised she was going to send it. That was why she had written it.

Fuck you Leonard. Oh, and Mark as well, although Mark was really an afterthought.

So she pressed send and went to bed. Men. She was sick of them.

She lay in bed and decided to read for a while before going to sleep. She carefully unfolded the raggy bits of paper and read Leonard's two letters again, written more than twenty years ago.

Then she carefully folded them up again, and put them under her pillow, as she did every night. Wishing things had gone differently.