Not to be

But Leonard and Leonora were not very good at living without each other.

For whatever reason.

And sooner or later - they were going to start their silly games all over again.

Leonora

It seemed Leonard and Leonora were destined to fall out.

This time it seemed like it was for good.

So you can read about Leonora here sadly living her life without Leonard.

What next?

The trouble was, after a while, Leonard realised he was missing Leonora.

He was moping around the house, gazing at the screen waiting for new caches to be published, but none were appearing in front of his very eyes.

Leonora always changed her mind and got back in touch with him. Even when she was adamant that she never ever wanted any more to do with him.

But this time she hadn't.

"What shall I do Tata?" he asked.

Tata glared at him. There was no fire for her to lie in front of, she was still not allowed to go on the new sofas so she was sulking on her basket behind the sofa.

She didn't really care about Leonard's problems with Leonora. Tata had spent months and months conniving and contriving with Leonard to lure Leonora back and he still managed to stuff it up. She was not getting involved any more. Unless someone allowed her on the sofa of course.

Leonard needed a new distraction. Suddenly a brilliant idea came to him.

He NEEDED an iPhone. That was it. A nice new shiny 3G iPhone. He was pleased with the iTouch that Mrs Leonard had bought for his birthday, but the iPhone was becoming an Essential Gadget To Have.

All the gadgets he needed in one. GPS, a phone, a camera, and automatic updating with the geocaching website while he was on the move. Just in case those new caches cropped up. He sighed in anticipated pleasure. Of course, he would still carry a proper GPS too, but he wouldn't need the new camera, the expensive mobile, or the iTouch.

He happily spent a few hours reading up on them and sourcing some good prices. The thing was though, he didn't want a rip-off contract. And when he started his research, he discovered that the price for the internet made the contract even more expensive in the second year.

Nothing was going right at the moment. He decided reluctantly to look for other options. He gazed at the Samsung and the HTC iPhone imitators. They didn't look like an iPhone though.

And Leonora would be so annoyed if he got an iPhone. She never shut up about how superior her flippin' Apple computers were, but she didn't seem to want to pay out for an iPhone. It would be good to steal a march on her there.

But Leonard had another dilemma. How to convince Mrs Leonard that he NEEDED an iPhone when the iTouch wasn't even 12 months old? And there was nothing wrong with the expensive mobile that she had bought for him either. Although it was four years old. And a couple of functions didn't work after he took the battery out without resetting it. But otherwise it was pretty good, considering it had been bounced, dropped, stood on, and generally abused. He would worry about that later. What he needed to do first, was to find a good deal, and then it would be virtually fait accompli.

Leonard was persistent when he NEEDED gadgets. He started looking at options for unlocking iPhones so that he didn't have to pay the ridiculous contract prices. He was fairly confident about doing this as he had managed to jailbreak his iTouch. It shouldn't be a problem unlocking the iPhone and using his current cheap mobile deal.

Eventually he thought he found the solution. He decided to think about it before he broke the news to Mrs Leonard so that he could present a clear and unarguable case about the necessity for an iPhone. In the meantime though, he would write to Leonora and ask her if she was ok. Perhaps he would mention the iPhone too in a nice sort of way, asking for her advice. Maybe not though.

He looked at the iTouch and the mobile. Yes, their days were definitely numbered. They would soon be finding their way into the (large) box of treasured presents and neglected fad gadgets. Still, they would not be lonely in there.

Dismissed

Leonard received an email from Leonora.

He read it in annoyance and decided not to reply.

The next morning he was still annoyed with her arrogant, judgemental tone, and her suggestion that she wanted no more to do with him.

He decided he would reply after all. Leonard did not consider he was guilty as charged. He had no intention of apologising and if Leonora wanted to break off all communications, that was fine by him. He was tired of her childish temperamental behaviour.

Leonard sent her an angry one-liner. Have that Leonora, he thought to himself. Being a thoughtful nice sort of guy, he added that he hoped she enjoyed her weekend.

.............

He had a pleasant weekend pottering around in the garage and going for a few caches with Tata.

On Monday he was rather surprised to received an email from Leonora. Perhaps she was having a change of heart. Leonard did not reply.

Later that night she sent him another brief mail asking if he was ignoring her. Before he went to bed, he sent her a cold dismissive response.

Wondering

Leonard wondered what had happened to Leonora.

He looked for her but couldn't find her.

Perhaps she had cleared off to her own blog without telling him.

That would be typical of her.

Leonard knew he had done nothing wrong and decided that Leonora was clearly over-reacting as usual.

He really didn't have anything to say to her anyway.

Friday

When she woke up on Friday morning Leonora was livid.

The evening before she had been in a state of mild shock after the episode in the shower and had managed to get through dinner as though nothing was wrong, and then gone to bed.

But by the morning her anger had had chance to ferment overnight and she decided Leonard had gone one step too far.

She lay in bed listening to Leonard and Mrs Leonard getting ready to go to work, and decided to wait until they had left the house before she got up. She really couldn't bring herself to say anything remotely civil to Leonard.

His footsteps came towards her room. Leonora feigned sleep. She was very good at that.

Leonard stuck his head round the door.

"Morning you. I'm off to work, but as it's Friday I'll be home in a few hours so we can go out somewhere this afternoon," he said.

He waited for an answer. Nothing.

"Oh well, see you then."

Like hell, thought Leonora. Like hell. She lay there for a while longer listening to the sound of Tata's Land Rover starting up and then driving down the street. Then she gave it another five minutes or so just in case for some bizarre reason he decided to come back for anything.

When she was satisfied the coast was clear she got up. She packed her tiny bag, made the bed, and walked out into the hall.

Tata was lying on her basket snoozing happily. She heard Leonora get up but decided to wait for her to go into the kitchen before she went to greet her. Leonora paused in the hall. She had forgotten something. What was it?

She suddenly remembered, and opened the door to the junk cupboard. The three remaining little crutches were still there, neglected, abandoned and very sorry for themselves.

Leonora smiled at them, and reached in to take them out. They opened their big eyes in shock. They couldn't remember the last time they had gone anywhere. They were so dejected they figured it would be their last trip out, and they were going to be thrown on the scrap heap.

"I'm taking you home with me to join the other two little crutches," she said kindly.

The little crutches still didn't say anything as Leonora bundled them under her arm, and picked her bag up with the other hand.

She marched out of the front door, and strode towards her Land Rover. She opened the driver's side, put the bag on the passenger seat, and lay the three little crutches down carefully in the rear of the vehicle.

Then, taking a deep breath, she put the key in the ignition. She said a quick prayer to Lucas, Prince of Darkness and any other Land Rover deities who might be listening, and turned the key.

Brrrrrrrrrm. The Land Rover sprung into life (if Land Rovers can do that). Leonora engaged first gear and set off home.

The shower scene

Leonard was as good as his word.

While Leonora was standing under the hot water in the shower trying to warm up, he lit the fire.

Leonora was the sort of person who could spend hours in a bath and nearly as long in a shower.

She stood there with her eyes shut letting the water cascade all over her.

Suddenly she heard a noise. She looked at the shower door horrified. It was moving. The shower scene from Psycho shot through her mind. Where the hell was Leonard? The scream stuck in her throat.

Leonard stepped into the shower and shut the shower door behind him.

"Leonard," she eventually squeaked. Then she quickly breathed in to restore her stomach muscles to their pre-40-year-old status, and, couldn't help looking down Leonard's body. He was naked. As you normally are in the shower.

Leonard saw her glance and laughed.

"What are you doing here? This is MY shower," she said, still shaking with shock.

"It's my shower. My house, so my shower."

"Yours and Mrs Leonard's actually. Come to think of it - where is Mrs Leonard? What would she think of you jumping into my shower?"

"Shopping," he said, not bothering to answer the last question.

"I thought you would approve of sharing the shower. Fits in with your environmental principles of not wasting water doesn't it?"

He reached over her for the soap.

"Come here, let me wash you down," and he pulled her towards him.

Leonora squeaked. Leonard was just too close to her.

"I don't use your soap. It's full of dead animals. I've got some mango shower gel there," she said.

Idiot, she said to herself. Why didn't I just say fuck off out of my shower?

Leonard obediently put the soap down and picked up the mango shower gel.

He squeezed some onto his hands and carefully started to massage it into Leonora's skin.

Double idiot, she said to herself. At least if he had been using the soap he wouldn't have been rubbing his hands all over me.

Leonora's nipples were embarrassing her. They were not supposed to do that. Well not for Leonard anyway.

His hands travelled down her abdomen. She was still breathing in. Dear me, she thought. I need to get out of this shower....but....but.....

"Turn round," he ordered suddenly. He reached over for more shower gel and then started rubbing it into her shoulders and her back. Leonora finally breathed out.

"Don't you think it smells nice?" said Leonora feebly, trying to inject some normality into a surreal situation. Leonard didn't answer.

Never in her wildest fantasies had she ever imagined her and Leonard standing in a shower together while Leonard's wife was out shopping.

His hands moved slowly and gently down her back. I will get out of this shower in a minute. The next minute. Well soon. Leonora so loved having her back rubbed - and in the shower, with sweet-smelling gel. Mmmm, seventh heaven without a doubt. Even if she was sharing heaven with Leonard.

A car pulled up outside. Neither of them heard it, but Tata got up to go and welcome Mrs Leonard.

Leonard reached the cheeks of her arse and started to rub them firmly. Leonora gulped. It was now or never. If she stayed any longer in the shower.....

She wriggled out of Leonard's grasp, and opened the doors, throwing water everywhere.

"Aw Leonora. What's wrong?" asked Leonard puzzled. He had even used the mango shower gel that she liked. Flippin' woman.

Leonora wrapped herself quickly in a towel, picked up her clothes and shot off to her room.

At the same time, Mrs Leonard walked in the front door with the shopping. She put the bags down, and noticing Leonora leave the bathroom, rushed towards it as she was desperate for a pee.

As she sat on the toilet she realised Leonora had left the shower running. Most unlike Leonora, but she made a note to turn it off when she had washed her hands.

But when she turned the sink tap off, the bathroom was strangely quiet. She turned round to see Leonard patting himself dry with a fluffy towel and admiring his figure.

"Hello Mrs Leonard," he said cheerfully.

"I thought Leonora was in here," she said puzzled.

"She was. You know how long she takes. She uses far too much water so I thought I would come in for my shower and gee her up a bit. Soon made her clear off."

Leonard was proud of that. Not a word of a lie.

"Oh," said Mrs Leonard, feeling very guilty of having even vaguely suspected Leonora and Leonard of getting up to anything in the shower. Although she thought she would ask Leonora about it later to make sure the tales tallied.

She went to pick up the shopping bags and take them into the kitchen. Tata trotted happily behind her.

Leonard noticed Leonora had left her glasses on the sink in her rush to get out of the bathroom. He picked them up and wandered down to her room.

She was lying in bed - as usual - trying to tell herself that she had not just spent five or ten minutes in the shower with a stark bollock naked Leonard.

"You left your glasses," he said, and put them down on the table next to the bed. "Oh, and I told Mrs Leonard that I came into the bathroom for my shower to rush you along because you were taking far too long as usual. You might want to remember that." And he walked out.

Mrs Leonard couldn't find the mushrooms or onions, and then realised she had left one bag in the car. As she went down the hall, she saw Leonard, clad in his towel, walking from Leonora's room back towards the bathroom.

She frowned. What on earth was going on?

Off to the river

The week passed quickly for both Leonard and Leonora.

Fortunately for Leonora, Mark was busy with work, and after picking up Sheba on Monday, she didn't see him again.

Leonard managed to skive off work one day to supervise the delivery of his new sofas.

He was very pleased with them. Tata was not pleased. She was not allowed on.

She glared balefully at Leonard's new sofa. It looked particularly dog-sized to her and was the best position in the room to see what was going on.

Leonard thought it was Leonard-sized - not that he needed two seats of course - but he didn't want to share it with anyone else, not even Tata. And he also liked to be able to see exactly what was going on everywhere.

Tata could not believe that she wasn't allowed on these new sofas. Just because her claws might have made a few small incisions on the previous one was no reason to deny her the right to jump up when she wanted.

She lay in front of the fire and sulked at Leonard.

Then she went to her basket and sulked again. She formulated a plan. Perhaps Leonora would help her regain sofa rights.

Leonard sprawled on his new sofa and typed an email to Leonora with his large clumsy fingers.

"Hey you
When are you coming?"

Leonora sighed when she read it. Why did Leonard not send thoughtful sensitive emails? How about 'I'm really looking forward to seeing you Leonora, any idea what time you might be arriving?'

No. Not Leonard. Direct to the point of bluntness.

"Hello," she typed back.

"Thursday arvo."

Leonard smiled.

"Send me a text/email to let me know when, and I will meet you at the station. See you soon."

Bossy git, she thought.

....................

Leonora sat on the train reading, although not paying much attention to her book. It seemed pretty boring and she had renewed it loads of times at the library. 'Your Face Tomorrow 1 - Fever and Spear' by Javier Marías. She thought about Leonard and Mark, and Tata and Sheba. Mostly she thought about Leonard. And that she was spending a fortune travelling up and down every few weeks to argue with him. The trouble was, she couldn't quite get him out of her life. When they fell out, she missed him. Horrid Leonard.

She left the book on the table and gazed out of the window, watching the dismal scenery flashing by. It was cold, damp and miserable. Still at least Leonard had a nice fire, when he could be bothered to light it. Time passed quickly and soon Leonora was at the station, clutching her tiny bag. She got out of the train and looked for Leonard.

There he was, as usual, standing by the wall and not rushing to greet her. Leonora pouted and walked over to him.

"Hello you," he said grinning. And not bothering to take her bag.

"Aren't you going to take my bag for me?" she asked sulkily.

"Why? It's small enough and you have managed it so far. Don't be such a wimp."

But then he smiled and leaned across and kissed her on the cheek.

Leonora nearly dropped her bag in shock.

She didn't know what to say.

"Er, how is everyone?" she managed, eventually.

"Fine. Tata is looking forward to showing you some new rivers so I hope you have brought wellingtons.

"Mrs Leonard has got lots of new vegetarian recipes to try," he added slightly less enthusiastically.

"And I have been eating lots of chocolate truffles."

"So I see," said Leonora, and poked him in the stomach, laughing.

I'll get you for that Leonora, just you wait.

They drove to Leonard's and Leonora got out of Tata's Land Rover, feeling strangely at home. Tata bounded up to the door to greet them, twirling round especially for Leonora's benefit.

"Darling dog," she said, bending down and narrowly avoiding getting head-butted.

"Ruff ruff RUFF RUFF?" demanded Tata.

"The river?" asked Leonora, very unenthusiastically.

She turned to look at Leonard who was leaning against the wall laughing himself silly.

"It's all your fault," she said.

"It always is," he agreed.

"You told her I would run through rivers with her and she believed you."

"That was months ago. You should have done it at the time and not disappointed her," he said, still laughing.

Leonora tried to look serious and sulky and failed miserably. She ended up laughing too.

"Of course darling. Well, when I say of course, I mean maybe we can go for a walk by the river. Right now," she added quickly to avoid any more grief from Tata.

Leonard put on his wellingtons. Leonora was rude about them and told him he should have bought some decent Hunter wellies. Tata proudly wore her fake Barbour. Leonard and Leonora put on their posh Goretexes. Leonora hadn't brought wellies but she put on her vegan walking boots. She thought, not for the first time, that perhaps she should leave a pair of wellies at Leonard's.

Off they all went down to the river.

Just another Monday

The next day Leonard went in happily to work. Even though it was Monday, he had had such a fine weekend that he was still in a good mood.

He managed to do as little as possible while still looking busy. Like most office workers, he had perfected this over the years. He checked out the forums that he moderated, and then he messed around on Sploofus for a while. It was all about the points, and Leonard liked to get extra points on the Showdown Challenges.

The real fun had gone out of Sploofus though. He had been competing for points against the woman who used to ask him Nosy Personal Questions, but she had stormed off in a huff and chucked her membership. It was OK getting extra points, but it was more fun to have someone specific to beat.

Apparently he had said something wrong once - well more than once - and eventually she had got very cross with him. She wasn't too pleased either that he had refused to play Scrabble with her any more.

She used to write witty funny emails to him that brightened up the monotony of his working day, but she didn't seem to write so much any more. Or when she did, there was something missing. Leonard sighed.

It was time for his breakfast sandwiches. He wandered off to make a cup of tea. When he got back to his desk, he carefully opened his sandwiches and began to eat them, thinking about the woman who didn't email him much any more.

Why was she so cantankerous? he wondered. Leonard never went looking for problems, but women seemed to find them regardless. This woman reminded him of someone. It wasn't Mrs Leonard though, in spite of her rather snarky comment yesterday about only looking for one cache. Leonora. That was it. Cantankerous Leonora. He suddenly remembered she was meant to be making a final decision about Morocco over the weekend.

Well, he had enjoyed his weekend, so maybe that was a good omen. Perhaps when he got home, there would be a nice email from her. Or maybe she would send it this evening. He smiled anticipating three weeks of fun and adventure camping with Leonora in Morocco.

A new email came up in his inbox. Leonard read it in disbelief. His spirits plunged and his weekend euphoric good humour disappeared immediately.

Flippin' Leonora. WHY didn't she want to go with him? She was obviously serious because she hadn't even been sarcastic. It was an attempt at a nice let-down. Maybe she really did like this new man. Maybe.... Leonard didn't know what to think. He just knew he was disappointed.

He was in a bad mood for the rest of the morning. His staff kept well away from him, and he couldn't even be arsed to snap at them.

He went home at lunchtime and told Tata. She looked at him sympathetically. Actually she wasn't that bothered because she had already been told that she couldn't go with them. What was needed was a new plan to go to Europe in her not remotely humble opinon.

But she put her head mournfully on Leonard's large thighs and gazed at him lovingly.

"Thanks Tata," he said. "It's good to know someone cares about me."

He shovelled in some toast, had a cup of tea, and then grabbed the box of Lindt chocolate truffles that had fallen into the supermarket trolley the last time he went. There weren't very many left, but he took out a handful and ate them quickly. Mmmm, delicious. Then he felt sick.

Leonard dragged himself reluctantly back to work, wondering whether to reply to Leonora and if so, what to say. No, she could stew and wait. Which really meant he would ask Tata when he got home what she thought he ought to do.

That wasn't such a bad idea, as Tata had spent all afternoon lying around thinking about how to sort the problem. Tata was very fond of Leonora, and she hated to see Leonard look miserable, so the situation clearly needed some clever Ridgeback thinking.

Leonard walked in the door gloomily after work. Tata bounced up to greet him, but not too rumbustiously. He smiled at her and patted her on the top of her head.

First he took off his work kit and changed into something more casual. Then they sat on the sofa together and played tugs for a while. Leonard thought about eating some more of those tasty truffles, but he had already put on two pounds and he hadn't even finished the box.

He picked up his laptop. Tata knew this was the moment to bark.

"Ruff, ruff, ruff," she barked kindly.

"What?" asked Leonard absent-mindedly.

"Ruff, ruff, ruff," repeated Tata.

"Aw Tata I'm not sure I want to ask her to come visit. Why?"

Tata explained patiently. Leonard thought about it. Maybe it wasn't such a daft idea.

"Well, I suppose she will be feeling guilty. Or at least she ought to be. And she hasn't visited for ages."

Leonard scowled thinking about Leonora's new boyfriend. She really did seem far too interested in him, and he was taking up far too much of her time.

"Ruff," barked Tata sweetly, thinking she might be able to lure Leonora into a river or two and plant an idea about a European camping trip where dogs were allowed to go instead of that awful North African place.

Leonard started tapping out the email. He did miss Leonora's company. She could be funny and witty and smart and lots of things. She could also be a regal pain in the arse.

"Hi Leonora
Thanks for your mail. Sorry that you don't want to come with me, but no hard feelings. It's your decision.
But why don't you come down next weekend and see us? Tata is complaining that she hasn't seen you for a while and she wants to show you some fine new rivers :D. .."

Leonard thought about whether or not to extend the invitation to the irritating boyfriend but decided he didn't want to see him. Not yet anyway.

"As you've finished work, you could always come down on Thursday or Friday, and you know I always take Friday afternoon off anyway.
Look forward to seeing you.
Leonard."

Leonard read it over again, checked for spelling errors as Leonora always picked them up and laughed at him, and then sent it. PING.

"There, that's done Tata," he said, smiling at her.

...............................

Leonora had spent most of the day snoozing on the sofa, with Sheba lying very close to her.

She heard the email arrive and debated whether or not to go and have a look. Eventually she roused herself to wander over to the computer. Leonard. She frowned. What did he have to say? Not a telling off, she hoped.

She clicked on the email and read his conciliatory message. Aw, she thought. He's taken it really well. She promptly felt very guilty. She quickly typed 'OK' and sent the message.

Then she went back to lie on the sofa and stroke Sheba. She wondered, not for the first time, how interested she really was in Mark, and how much she tolerated him because of Sheba. Then there was Tata. Leonora thought she could do without all these inconvenient men in her life if only she had a dog like Sheba or Tata.

She had decided when she finished work that she was going to do lots of travelling, so it would be unfair to get a dog, and board it in kennels for weeks or months on end. But as she hadn't been anywhere recently, the dog idea was becoming more attractive. Perhaps Leonard would look after a dog for her if she went away. It would be company for Tata - if she would accept another dog. Hmmm. Something to broach over the weekend.

.................................

Leonard was horrified to see a reply from Leonora so quickly. His heart sank for the second time that day. Was she going to tell him to Do One? He looked at Tata for moral support.

"Ruff, ruff," she barked confidently. Of course Leonora would say yes. How could she resist the thought of running through nice rivers in the middle of winter?

Leonard opened the email and smiled. Hardly Leonora at her chattiest, but it would do. He was looking forward to the weekend already. Time to look at the geocaching site, and plan some trips for Leonora. He decided to indulge in some more truffles after all.

Leonard's weekend

Leonard and Tata had a good weekend too. Naturally for Leonard a good weekend involved finding lots of caches, and for Tata it involved lots of walks.

Their first one was described as an easy to get to, but not necessary to find cache, hidden along a lane. Leonard knew he was looking for a micro cache, slightly smaller than a 35mm film can. It was meant to be in the open but well hidden, and the instructions had been very clear - NO NEED to pull apart any hedges.

Leonard frowned. It should have been quite easy to find, given the title of the cache referred to the pine tree. After a while he found it, but the cache was in another location and was not how it should be. He made a mental note to send a detailed e-mail to the cachers who had placed it there so that they could restore it. Leonard prided himself on being a responsible cacher and felt smug and virtuous at his helpful behaviour.



Off they went to the next one. This was a nano-cache hidden around some old mine ruins. It was part of a tramway and was a great area for Tata to have a good run. There was meant to be lots of wild life around, but they didn't see any. The cache was nice and easy to find, due to the clue 'any old iron'.



The third cache was placed near a chapel. The man who built the chapel had been a miner and in his youth, spent much of his earnings on drink, often at the expense of his wife and children. Then one day he found religion and became a preacher, and he built three chapels, often working on them after he had finished a day's work at the mine.

The cache was a small lock and lock container. It was an easy find for Leonard. He took a copy of a Garmin Geo-coin.



Then Leonard and Tata went off to find a cache hidden near a tramway. The cache was smaller than a film canister and Leonard was initially fooled by the decoy. But Leonard was not one to be defeated, he hated to register a DNF. After another five minutes he found the cache.

Tia was rather impressed with her photo sitting on the river bank. She thought she looked so soulful. And apart from anything else she was showing such restraint, as she was dying to jump in and run through the river. She wished Leonora was with them to run through the river with her. Tata was convinced Leonora would soon enjoy it.



Sunday dawned bright and fair, and Leonard decided to nab some more caches. It was all about the numbers, and it was important to get his count up, some of the other local cachers were very competitive and Leonard did not like to be beaten.

Mrs Leonard rolled her eyes at him.

"Didn't you get enough yesterday?" she foolishly asked.

Leonard looked very pained.

He had been quite sporty in his younger days before he put on so much weight, and most of his spare time had been taken up wind-surfing or diving.

He would dearly have liked to continue with them even now, (in spite of his rather more mature figure), but he had taken up geocaching because at least Mrs Leonard could share it with him.

The things he did, the sacrifices he made, and nobody ever appreciated him.

Leonard sighed very obviously.

"I've planned a nice coastal walk especially because I know you like them," he said in his best martyrish voice.

Mrs Leonard had the grace to look slightly abashed. No more was said.

The first one was a nice easy find and the cache was a small lock and lock box. Leonard took nothing and left nothing.



The next walk involved the beautiful cliff top views that Leonard had planned especially for Mrs Leonard. But sadly although they searched for ages they couldn't locate this one. They couldn't figure out the clue either. It was a great area though and they all enjoyed the walk.





Then they had a fine walk through the woods to find the 'Fallen Tree' cache. The last time they were there was on a night cache so it was great to see it in daylight. Leonard took a travel bug.



When they got home, he uploaded the photos, and decided to use the night-time shot from the previous visit for the last one.

He wrote two entries for the first one. His second entry pointed out that the cache was in another location, and that he would shortly send a detailed email to the cache owners. After he had posted all Tata's photos and recorded all the finds, even the DNF, he worked on the email. He was so busy thinking about caching, Leonora never crossed his mind once.

It had been a good weekend in spite of that one DNF. He fell into bed and dreamed happily of his increased number of finds. Mrs Leonard dreamed of going for a walk that only involved one geocache. Tata dreamed of running through rivers.

Apology to Leonard

Poor Leonard - you have been abandoned. Perhaps you have just been very boring this past month. Maybe you need something exciting to cheer you up. A shower scene with Leonora perhaps? No, I think not. What you would really enjoy would be a nice geocaching session with Tata. Yes, I had better write that up for you.

Fleeting visit

Plan A - We drive back to the finca on New Year's Day and spend a long leisurely weekend there, coming back on Sunday.

Plan B - Partner scuppers Plan A by deciding to work the Friday (Jan 2).

Plan C - I decide to go back on the bus Saturday/Sunday.

Plan D - Partner offers to drive back Saturday, and back again on Sunday. Sounds a good one.

Plan E - We both wake up feeling like shit on Saturday. I tell him not to drive when he is feeling rough. I feel so bad I go back to bed.

What actually happened - was that I went back on Sunday. Felt too ropey to walk to the frontier so got the bus. It was a good journey back to Málaga, I spent the two and a half hours snoozing (which I couldn't really have done in the Landy - it would have been rather rude), completing a couple of Sudokus in the papers I found on the bus, and reading a novel. John le Carre's 'Call for the Dead' in case anyone is interested.

Discovered the router I had taken back didn't work. Thought the mouse wasn't working either, until I discovered I had pulled out the wrong USB cord. Phew! Spent the evening reading in bed. Put a wash on to lull me to sleep.

Got up leisurely, hung washing out, washed out chicken drinkers, topped up the corn, watched the cockerel jumping on one of the chickens (Negrita), and then went off to the shop to buy them some lettuce.

Met the neighbours on the way back up the street.

"Hola," says me.

"Hola, que pasa?" (What's happening)

"Nada, compro lechuga para las gallinas como siempre." (I'm buying lettuce for the chickens as usual).

Ratatatatatata in Spanish ....." has venido?" (have you come?)

"Si," I said. Looked at puzzled faces. Ooops, wrong answer. If they knew the answer why were they asking me the question?

"Como?" I asked, realising I had stuffed it up.

"Tu solamente has venido?" she repeated, with a few more words just to make it clear for the thick inglesa.

"Ah, si," I said finally getting the answer right. Fairly obvious I had turned up on my own. No dirty big Land Rover sitting outside, no dog, and no chatter in the house.

So then I explained that Partner was poorly, coughing and had got a cold on his chest.

Well, why doesn't he come up here if he is poorly. It's nicer to be here if he is poorly? (or something on those lines). Er, because he doesn't want to drive.

As 80-year-old Adelina doesn't drive, I don't think she realised that when in charge of a large piece of metal, on busy roads, occasionally going at speed (not often in ours), it's a good idea to be fully compus mentus, rather than slightly dizzy, nauseous, shaky legs, and all the other things that accompany 'flu.

Her daughter helpfully repeated that Partner didn't want to drive.

"No quiere conducir," she said.

Then we got onto employment - or rather unemployment. And agreed it was bad.

"Feliz año nuevo," I said, thinking I would never get away.

"Igualmente," they said. (same to you)

"Hasta la proxima," I said. (until the next time).

Scooted home, dished up the lettuce. Then realised I still had an hour to wait for the bus into town, where I had to go and pay the 'phone bill at the post office.

Should I walk the 40min track? With a travel bag, and a BIG winter coat? No doubt the sun would come out mid-way and I would be roasted as well as feeling dizzy and flu-ey. No. Best to sit around and wander down to the bus stop.

And that's exactly what I did. Bus was irritatingly prompt, so just as well I legged it to the bus stop five mins before. There was the usual queue of 15 or 20 people in front of me but the counter staff there were efficient too - maybe a 15 minute wait.

No direct bus to Málaga so got a ticket for the next stopping one. Except, one turned up that was obviously running late. It's a sort of semi-direct, it doesn't stop to pick up, but it does drop people off who got on earlier on the journey.

And then, what a dilemma in Málaga. To get the direct bus to Algeciras which only has one stop and so takes around 1:50, or the stopping bus to La Linea which takes around 2:40.

I decided on the Algi bus. Partly because I was feeling achey, and nearly three hours on a bus is not good when back/legs are starting to twinge. And partly because it was due to leave 15 mins earlier than the other.

Except it wasn't even in when it was due to leave, and people were boarding the other bus. Had I made the wrong decision? Looked at the queue for the ticket office. Half a dozen people. But if I got stuck in the queue, my bus might come in and leave.

Went to the La Linea driver and asked if I would be able to change my ticket at the office. 'Pregunte a la taquilla," he said. Well, that was really helpful.

Suddenly our bus came in. On we all jumped. Well, boarded slowly actually. But although it left 15 mins late at least it left before the other one. Settled down for a snooze and a read.

Finally finished my other book. Blood River by Tim Butcher. here is a review.

Hopped off the bus at Algi and immediately onto one for La Linea. Ouf. Someone was looking after me. Arrived at La Linea and was pleased to see the bus from Málaga had not arrive. Sometimes we do make the right decisions.

Arrived to home to find poor Partner had been in bed all day. After the morning dog walk he had fallen back into bed, aching limbs, shaking legs, dizzy, and basically totally useless. So useless that when I arrived he hadn't finished the drying, put the wash on, or even had anything to eat or drink.

Just as well I decided to go on my own on Sunday. Another right decision.

Pros and cons

Leonora enjoyed herself on Friday night. The food was good and so was the sex. She decided not to mention Morocco.

On Saturday morning, Leonora and Mark had a leisurely breakfast and then Leonora said she had some things to do at home.

Mark asked her to stay over the weekend, but she refused. She saw his look of disappointment though, and quickly added that they could meet up on Sunday.

Oh dear, she thought, I really can't mention this silly trip to Morocco right now.

Leonora felt slightly guilty when she shut the door on Mark and Sheba, wondering if he had expected her to ask him to stay longer, or for the night, or something.

She shrugged her shoulders and walked back up the hall.

"Leonora! Leonora!" exclaimed the first little crutch gleefully.

"We've missed you lots," added the second one.

Poor dears she thought. Why does everyone want my company all of a sudden? She decided not to tell them she was going back to Mark's on Sunday.

She had a fine afternoon doing nothing in particular, although she grudgingly admitted to herself that she enjoyed her meal on Friday better than the half-hearted attempt she made for herself that night.

On Sunday morning she bit the bullet and told the little crutches she was going out again.

"Oh," said the first little crutch, with a crestfallen face. "We'll see you tonight then."

"Er, I don't know, I might be staying over again," she admitted. Much as she loved them, the attraction of a man who could cook and a beautiful GSD was pretty strong.

"Have a nice time Leonora," said the second one sadly. "We'll be pleased to see you whenever you get back."

Sunday passed quickly, dog walks, more food, more sex, and a generally pleasant day. Leonora thought it would be churlish of her to ask Mark to take her home, so stayed the night. She didn't feel like mentioning Morocco though.

On Monday morning, Mark bounced up bright and early.

"Hey Leonora, you don't have to get up. Why don't you stay here all day, or at least until lunchtime and then I can come and take you home?"

"Don't be silly - I can get home myself," she said.

"Or if you want to get up now, I can drop you and Sheba off at your place, and you can spend the day together. I'll pick her up after work."

Leonora was interested. That sounded a very attractive proposition. Although she wasn't sure if Mark was finding ways to make sure he kept tabs on her every day.

"Well, if you think it won't put Sheba out of sorts, that sounds OK to me," she said.

So the three of them set off back to Leonora's and Mark went off to work, pleased with the way the weekend had gone. He was wondering when to broach the question of the business trip to Germany.

Sheba ran round Leonora's apartment, and when she had checked everything out, she curled up in a heap and went to sleep next to Leonora in the sitting room.

Leonora decided the time had come to send Leonard 'the' email. She realised she hadn't mentioned it to Mark because there wasn't any point.

"Hi Leonard
I'm really sorry but I just don't think it's a good idea for us to go to Morocco together. Don't be annoyed with me, but it won't work out. Please don't ask me again.
Sorry - seriously.
Leonora."

She pressed the send button before she had chance to change her mind.

Then she decided to justify her decision by compiling a pros and cons list. Leonora loved to write pros and cons lists.

She grabbed a pen and some paper and lay on the sofa, jotting down the pros.

Adventure
Fun to plan
Camping and independence
Opportunity to revise her French
And maybe learn some Arabic
Lots of super historic places to visit
The ferry crossings (Leonora loved ships)
Leonard would probably drive most/all of the time so she could sit in the passenger seat watching the world pass by
She could navigate (Leonora loved navigating)
Nice and warm during the day, she might even get a little bit of sun on her pale skin

Leonora sighed as she almost felt the wind in her hair and the warm sun on her face. She carried on with the list.

Leonard could be good fun at times, he did make her laugh
He was adaptable too and easy-going
He was patient and tolerant, even when she was at her most brattish
She always felt safe with him - apart from when they fell down on cliff paths together
He was organised and practical
Conversation was always easy, or they didn't even have to talk - there were no embarrassing silences

Leonora suddenly realised she hadn't started on the cons. She paused. What were the cons? Oh yes.

Leonard was bossy
And arrogant
And patronising

Leonora looked at her list. It did not look right. She had 16 pros and three cons. She hastily scribbled down a few more cons.

Leonard would probably insist on geocaching
He smoked
He wasn't vegetarian

This list was not working properly. She needed to knock out the travel bit and just concentrate on Leonard. Six pros, six cons. Well, that would have to do to justify her decision for now, because it was too late to change her mind. She decided a nap was in order to see if inspiration came to her in her sleep.

Leonora went for a blanket and curled up on the sofa. Sheba was still curled up next to her on the floor, and the two of them snoozed away happily.

Leonard's 'phone call

Leonora shut her eyes and clenched her fists. She decided not to sit down, she always felt so much more assertive on the 'phone standing up.

"Hello Leonard," she said, as coldly as possible.

"I really didn't feel like getting into a ridiculous email exchange so I thought we could speak directly about Morocco," he said.

"Here are the options," he continued, before she had chance to interrupt.

"One, you fulfil your word and come with me as agreed.

"Two, you decide for once and for all that you are not coming, and pay me the difference that I will lose by cancelling the ferry.

"Three, you decide to go with your boyfriend and we transfer the booking into your name, and you pay that difference too.

"Is that clear?"

Leonora was speechless. But not for long.

"Leonard, it is not my fault that you deliberately misled me, and then went ahead and booked a ferry crossing after you had got my agreement to come through lies and deception."

Leonora liked that and was pleased with herself. She thought quickly though.

It would be a pain to cancel it now, and then later wish she had agreed to go, especially if she was no longer seeing Mark. And she wasn't keen on the idea of three weeks with Mark. She was having enough problems controlling Mark as it was. Prevarication was called for.

"Listen Leonard, I have to be honest with you," she said. Nice dig there she thought, more than you were with me.

"I've chucked my job, and I finish tomorrow, so I'm honestly a bit pre-occupied about that at the moment. I haven't really thought any more about this Morocco trip."

"Well, if you've chucked your job that's one thing less to worry about it, isn't it?" asked Leonard logically.

The thing was, Leonard did want her to come. He decided to be reasonable.

"Look, why don't you take the weekend to think about it? What isn't fair to either of us, is to leave it up in the air, or for you to keep changing your mind all the time," he said.

"That's a bit uncalled-for," she snapped.

"I'm sorry," he said conciliatorily. "I meant, it's not fair if you say you are going to come and then back out a couple of weeks beforehand and I lose virtually all the booking cost, or if you say you don't want to go now and then decide later on that you do, and the booking costs more."

Leonard was obsessed with the cost of things, she thought. He wasn't even poor.

"Anyway what about your man? Do you want to go with him? Does he even have a four wheel drive?" asked Leonard curiously.

"Yes he does actually," she replied.

"So what is it?"

"A Toyota Land Cruiser," she said, waiting for the sarcastic comment from Leonard, given that both of them were Land Rover enthusiasts.

But Leonard just said "Is it any good?"

"Yes, seems all right to me, parts are a bit dear, and it is a bit new for my liking, might suit you though," she said snarkily.

"Well, do you want to go with him?" asked Leonard, hoping she would say no, and he could knock that one on the head for good.

He had got used to being the permanent man in Leonora's life, and had discovered he wasn't keen on someone else taking centre stage.

"Don't know," said Leonora. "Don't know if I'll still be seeing him in a few months' time either. Listen, I'm seeing him over the weekend, I'll discuss it with him then, OK?"

She paused and then continued.

"You see, the other thing is, if I am seeing him, I don't know how he would feel about me going away with you for three weeks.

"After all, if it was the other way round, I don't think I would be very happy with him spending three weeks with another woman in a confined space," she said.

"You mean if he was spending three weeks with a grey-haired, overweight, bossy, middle-aged cousin who smoked?" asked Leonard sarcastically, given that was Leonora's usual description of him.

"Don't you trust him?" he added smugly.

"Leonard you are just being difficult now. Leave it. I've told you I'll speak to him about it this weekend. Stop hassling me," she said wearily.

He noticed the change in the tone of her voice and realised he had said enough.

"All right then, let's speak after the weekend when you have had time to think about it. Enjoy your weekend. Tata sends her love, of course," he said.

"Bye Leonard," she said, and put the 'phone down. She wandered dismally over to the sofa and threw herself on it, undecided what to do about anything.

Leonora's day

Leonora was sitting in her office annoyed with Leonard, and totally failing to concentrate on work because she was so preoccupied with horrid Leonard.

As usual, Mark walked in mid-morning.

"Morning Leonora.

"I've spoken to payroll and sorted out your wages so that you get paid up to next week, but you can leave tomorrow as we agreed yesterday."

He smiled at her.

Is that the conversation I missed yesterday? wondered Leonora. Just as well Mark's told me, I would have looked such a prat coming in on Monday if I was meant to have finished on Friday.

Leonard's fault, she thought, and scowled. Mark saw the change in her expression.

"Something wrong?" asked Mark, sounding worried.

"No, no, sorry Mark, that's fine. I was just worrying whether or not I could get everything finished for tomorrow, but I'm sure I can.

"Thanks, you've been super about all this," she said, and beamed at him.

He really was a nice guy. Why was she spending her time obsessing over stupid Leonard when she had this one wound round her little finger?

"I thought to celebrate you could come to my house tomorrow night after work, and I'll cook dinner. We can have a nice long walk with Sheba first, and then a romantic meal in. What do you reckon?"

Leonora felt like vomiting. What is it with these men that talk about romantic dinners? Food is for eating and is very nice. Then there is sex, which can come before or afterwards. Bit messy in the middle of eating, she thought. Distracting too from decent food.

But romantic anything?? She remembered not to pull a face this time though.

"Oh, a meal would be lovely Mark. You're such a good cook, I really enjoy it when you cook for me," she said winningly. "And of course, Sheba is such a darling."

Mark smiled at her flattery, feeling pleased with himself. He touched her lightly on the shoulder.

"That's great. I'm sure we'll see each other before then, but if not, you can just come home with me, maybe we can get away early too."

Alarm bells. Oh no. Mark was determined to let the whole world know that they were A Couple. In A Relationship.

"Oh Mark, it would be much easier if I go home first and get changed and everything like that. Then I'll either make my own way over to your place, or give you a ring to meet up somewhere. Is that OK?" she said.

"Whatever suits," said Mark, still pleased with Leonora's agreeable response to everything. "See you later then."

When he'd gone out of the office, Leonora breathed deeply, wondering how on earth she was going to prevent this nice casual relationship escalating out of hand.

In fact, she even forgot about horrid Leonard. She cracked on with her work for the rest of the day.

When she got in, she quickly turned on the computer to see what nasty emails Leonard might have sent her. Nothing. Again.

She considered sending another one to him.

"I assume from your lack of response that you fully accept that you are a total and utter arse........"

Maybe not.

She went through to the kitchen to put something on for tea.

"How are you today darlings?" she called to the little crutches.

"We've got a plan Leonora," they replied.

"Oh, that's interesting," she said. I could do with a few plans in my life to get it sorted.

"What's that?"

"We were thinking it might be nice for the other three little crutches to come here and live with us," they said, slightly hesitantly.

"You see, last time we were at Leonard's they were very sad and lonely," said the first little crutch.

"They are just abandoned in Leonard's store cupboard because he doesn't care about them any more," said the second one.

"And they are worried that one day he will just throw them out on the scrap heap," added the first one.

"You see, although we didn't get on when we last talked to them because they were so miserable and we have a super life with you, we thought....." said the second one.

"We thought," said the first little crutch interrupting quickly as the second one was talking too much, "that we could all be happy and friends again if you would let them live here."

The second little crutch glared at the first one for interrupting. The first one smirked. It had started and finished the conversation.

"Only if you want of course Leonora," said the second one, much to the annoyance of the first little crutch who stopped smirking.

"Well, that's a very nice thought of you," said Leonora, disappointed they hadn't come up with a magical solution for her to sort the men in her life, but touched by their generous and kind nature.

"Trouble is right now, I'm not really getting on very well with Leonard. If I mention adopting the other little crutches, he'll probably demand I give you back and you will all end up on the scrap heap."

The little crutches opened their big eyes wide and looked horrified. They didn't want to go anywhere. They loved living with Leonora. She was kind and funny and they felt wanted, even though she didn't need them any more.

Leonora felt guilty when she saw the look on their faces.

"I wouldn't let him have you back of course," she said. "I just need to time it right to ask for the other three."

The little crutches breathed a sigh of relief. The truth was Leonora wasn't convinced she wanted five bickering little crutches cluttering up her hallway. Two were manageable but another three would make the place look even more untidy, and there was much more potential for argument and chaos. Still, she would think about it. But not right now.

After tea, she thought about messing around on the internet, but decided to lie on the sofa instead with a book.

Pring pring. Pring pring.

She wandered over to the 'phone. No number came up.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hello Leonora." The unmistakeable tone of an assertive Leonard.

Leonard's response

Leonora went into work wondering what response she would get from Mark. She hoped he wasn't going to be difficult and go through the whole "I can't possibly accept your resignation" routine.

Fortunately he didn't. He wandered into her office mid-morning.

"Hi Leonora, I'm sorry you want to resign. But I don't want you - or anyone - to stay here if you don't want to. Not good for any of us, or the business.

"And I suppose there is an advantage, at least we don't have to keep our relationship secret any more. We can actually attend things as a couple, and maybe you can come on a few business trips with me now," he said.

Had Leonora not already finished her morning coffees, she would probably have taken a deep swig and promptly choked on it.

We this. We that. And the dreaded R word. Leonora was not into relationships. At all. She took the point of view that she had been on her own for most of her life and really did not want to get involved with anyone at her age. Relationships were for idealistic youngsters, or people who needed security, or people who read romantic novels and believed them. Relationships were most definitely NOT for Leonora.

"I'd really like to leave as soon as I can to be honest," she said, avoiding the second ghastly part of Mark's conversation.

"When would be convenient?" she asked.

Mark looked at her thoughtfully. "I suppose I could get an agency temp in for a while, then if you wanted, that would give you chance to come back.

"And if not, I'll keep the temp until I recruit someone decent. Or would you fancy working part-time?"

No. Leonora did not want to work full-time, part-time, or at all. The truth was, the novelty of working had worn off anyway, and this whole thing with Mark had just made it all too complicated.

"Right now, I really think I need a break Mark, so I'm not prepared to say that I might be coming back," she said.

And of course there is Leonard to worry about, she thought. Leonard and his trip to Morocco. Leonard and his promise to reply to her email 'later'. She had looked at his email quickly that morning before leaving for work, and although she thought the picture of Tata was adorable, she was not looking forward to whatever it was he was going to say.

".....................so what do you think?" asked Mark.

Eh? thought Leonora. What on earth was he talking about? Leonora had missed whatever it was he had said, she was so busy thinking about Leonard. Typical of Leonard, he was hundreds of miles away and still distracting her. He had no business being in her office.

"I don't really have a strong view," said Leonora, hoping that would do as an answer. At least it was true, if she didn't know what Mark had said, she could hardly have a view.

"Good, I'm glad we're both happy with the solution then. And if you change your mind or want to talk about it, don't hesitate to bring it up. It's not as though you've dug yourself into a hole."

"Thanks Mark," she said smiling sweetly at him, thinking no, the only one I ever dig myself into a hole with is horrid Leonard.

Mark was quite nice really, she thought absent-mindedly. But not nice enough that she wanted to do the R thing with him. Perhaps she should tell Mark that she was planning to shag Leonard in Morocco. Leonora reckoned she could carry off that lie quite convincingly. Still, Mark was so easy-going he would probably agree to it so that she could get both of them (Morocco and Leonard) out of her system.

Or she could tell Leonard that she was moving in with Mark, and that they were going on holiday together, so she couldn't possibly go to Morocco with Leonard. She wouldn't bother telling Leonard she had chucked the job of course.

The trouble with Leonard was that he had a nasty habit of putting Leonora on the spot and making her wriggle like a naughty schoolgirl. Either that or he was far too reasonable about everything leaving her with nothing to argue about.

She would ask the little crutches that evening what strategy they thought she should adopt.

It was a good thing she was on top of things in the office as she got very little done that day apart from wonder what Leonard was going to write to her in his email. Perhaps he would send her one of his horrid emails. One of those short cold ones with one very nasty and exceedingly well thought-out point. Leonora did not like those. Leonard did not send them very often, but when he did Leonora knew she had gone too far and started to feel guilty.

Oh Leonard, she thought. And packed up her bags to go home early and see if he had sent her an email.

Leonard of course, had not sent his promised email though. He had been far too busy at work to think about Leonora - fortunately - and when he got in that evening, he and Tata decided to go for a couple of early caches.

As they were wandering round together, he thought about what approach to take with Leonora. He had a range of tactics that he used with her temperamental behaviour, that were basically progressive although sometimes he swapped them around a bit.

They were:

1) Send an email saying "Don't be an arse Leonora."

The main advantage about this one was that he didn't have to think much, and it bought him some time while she calmed down. Of course sometimes it backfired and she sent him an even snottier email in response.

2) Send her some tale and photos of Tata, although he did tend to overuse this one a bit and he knew she saw through it. It was another easy one though, and calculated to appeal to Leonora's adoration of Tata. In practice he had actually done that last night.

3) Send her something funny. Trouble was he had to think of something witty, so there was a bit more effort involved. Still, when it worked it usually defused the situation and Leonora couldn't resist giggling and writing back nicely to him.

4) Give her a good talking to and tell her to behave herself. This was a risky one as she sometimes got even more petulant but at least she knew he was not going to stand for any more messing around. Sometimes it achieved the effect of making her back off a bit. Sometimes it had the reverse effect though and she invariably told him to fuck off and stamped off in an even worse huff.

5) If all else failed, his last resort was usually to send her a nice email. Leonard was not fond of doing this and had kept the sending of 'nice' emails to a bare minimum. But a short mail involving much grovelling on his part saying how he always got things wrong, and how wonderful she was, and how he would miss her blah blah blah usually did the trick as Leonora couldn't resist his flattering manipulative words. Leonard felt slightly queasy even thinking about it and decided that definitely wasn't the option required yet.

Of course it was always good to let her stew a bit as well, worrying about what he might be going to write. Not that he was doing it deliberately today, but he figured it didn't do any harm. A little contrition on Leonora's part was never a bad thing in Leonard's mind, and the lack of communication from him usually took the edge off her anger.

He decided to go for level one. He would send it some time tonight when he and Tata got back from geocaching.

"What do you think Tata?" he asked.

"I'll send Leonora an email telling her not to be an arse."

"Ruff," Tata rolled her eyes. She had seen these exchanges so many times that she couldn't be bothered to comment. Leonard always got his own way, it just took a bit of effort sometimes.

They got back and he uploaded the photos, but he decided to leave the email until after his tea. But then he felt so comfortable and full of nice food that he decided to have a snoozelet.

Leonora was starting to fret. Leonard hadn't sent the promised email. He hadn't sent anything. Why was he being so difficult and uncommunicative? Her fingers were itching to send him a really really snotty email, but she restrained herself and flicked around doing silly quizzes on a trivia site.

When Leonard woke up after his extended nap, he felt like shit. Then he remembered he hadn't sent that email to Leonora, so he typed it out quickly before getting on with a few things he had to prepare for the next day at work.

Leonora had gone to bed of course, gloomily depressed that Leonard hadn't got in touch with her at all. When she got up in the morning she checked for mails as usual and found Leonard's brief message.

She scowled. Tappity tap she went rapidly.

"The only one being an arse Leonard, is you, as usual."

Ping. She had waited 24 hours to see what his thoughtful response was to her genuine concerns about him lying and being untrustworthy, and all he could say was 'don't be an arse'. Leonora was not pleased.

"Fucking Leonard," she snarled over her shoulder to the little crutches as she shot out of the door to work.

The little crutches looked at each other puzzled. They decided Leonora needed cheering up, so they started concocting a plan.

Leonard fell out of bed and glanced at his i-Touch. He read Leonora's mail and laughed. Sometimes she was so predictable. Even though she could see the bait she couldn't resist biting. He went off to work smirking.

Later.... elsewhere

The recipients of Leonora's emails were not pleased with them.

Mark read her resignation mail, and shrugged his shoulders. He would speak to her in the morning about it.

He was actually more worried about the sudden appearance of Leonora's alleged cousin, and her willingness to go gadding off to Morocco with him for three weeks. Not that Mark was hugely suspicious but it did seem a bit odd.

"Come on Sheba, off to bed," he said. Sheba dutifully followed him into the bedroom and curled round on her rug next to his bed.

She usually stayed there most of the night, but sometimes she would wander round the house in the early hours, checking everything was all right, and maybe snooze for a while near the main door. Sheba took her role as Top Guard Dog very seriously. After all she was a GSD, which as everyone knows is really short for a Guard and Sentry Dog.

Leonard read Leonora's email three times. He couldn't believe it. Even when he had read it through the third time, he thought he was mis-reading it.

Only Leonora, but only Leonora, would ask him to be totally honest and then victimise him for it. He might as well have lied to her in the first place. Flippin' woman. He didn't know whether he wanted to shake her or slap her. She was such a child.

Leonard also decided not to reply. He looked round at Tata. There was only one thing for it.

"Fancy a night cache Tata?" he asked.

"Ruff, ruff," she answered. Tata was always up for it.

Why weren't women more like Tata, mused Leonard.

Off they went in Tata's Land Rover, to grope around in the dark countryside looking for little tiny pots of treasure.

Leonard put Leonora out of his head, and concentrated on the challenge ahead of him. He didn't even put any horrid music on, much to Tata's relief.

Tata and Leonard hunted for the cache in the peace and quiet of the night. They thoroughly enjoyed the walk, but only located the cache through the clue. There were only five reflectors present and there was quite a distance between the last reflector and the cache area. They took a travel bug and a coin.

Tata sat happily for her picture and pulled a silly face at the camera.

"Ruff ruff ruff?" she asked Leonard.

"Of course, we'll put it on the geocaching site as soon as we get back," he replied.

"Aruff ruff?" she barked.

"Leonora? Well I don't know. She just sent me a nasty email, so I'm not too keen on mailing her just now," said Leonard.

But then he saw the disappointed look on Tata's face, and said quickly:

"I could just send her your image though, telling her about our cache, I'm sure she will like that."

Tata smiled again. She'd realised Leonard had not been happy with the email from Leonora, and thought the situation needed a bit of help.

Although Leonora was not part of the household, Tata considered her to be extended family and a sort of semi-permanent member, so she needed to be managed just like everyone else.

Nobody could ever fall out about Tata. She smirked as they walked back to her Land Rover, and she climbed elegantly in the back.

When they arrived home, Leonard dutifully loaded up the images onto the caching site and then sent the one of Tata to Leonora.



"Hi Leonora

"Just been out caching with Tata for a special night time one involving reflectors. It wasn't easy to find, but we got there in the end. Tata did a special pose for you. I'll reply to your other mail later.

"Leonard."

He sat back and read it again. Leonard was pleased with himself. He was always so diplomatic with Leonora when she threw her tantrums. Really she didn't deserve it, but he was fond of her and he didn't want to fall out with her.

Tata sighed her approval and decided it was time for a snooze. The house was quiet and Leonard spent the next hour or so flitting between forums, and watching the news.

He wondered how to tackle Leonora, but decided that was best left for later. He didn't feel like thinking about it right now, but at least he had offered an olive branch.

Men

When Mark turned up, they decided to take Sheba out for a walk first, and then heat up the curry afterwards.

Sheba was suitably excited to be going out in the evening, and they wandered around the streets for ages.

Leonora had decided to broach the subject over the meal, it seemed easier. Of course, she had been assuming Mark wouldn't be staying the night, but that meant he couldn't drink.

"Mark, do you want a drink or not, because obviously with you wanting to drive home, it might not be a good idea," she said, hoping that was tactful enough.

"I thought I might like to stay, if that's not too much of an invasion of your personal space," he said.

"OK, whatever suits," she replied, thinking best not to put him in a bad mood. "So, in that case would you like a glass of wine?"

"Yes. That would be great," he said, and smiled at her.

Leonora put a bowl of water down for Sheba first, and then poured a couple of large glasses of wine. One each of course, not two for Mark. She put the curry on to warm up, and then took a deep breath.

"I'm going on a trip to Morocco for three weeks or so," she said. "It's been booked, and I gave the commitment before I started the job.

"If I can't take the leave from work, I'll understand, and hand in my resignation." Oouf. It was out. She looked at him.

"Shouldn't be a problem. What are the dates?" he said.

"I don't know yet. I'm waiting for confirmation," she said.

"So it has been booked has it?" he asked.

"Yes," she said.

"Is it an organised tour then? Can I join in?" he asked.

Leonora was stunned. "Er, I don't think we can both take leave from the office for three weeks at once, it might look a bit obvious," she said quickly.

"Suppose so. It's getting to be a bit of a nuisance keeping it quiet when it gets in the way of what we want to do," he answered.

'What we want to do....' Leonora was horrified. 'We', ie Leonora, didn't want to do anything more than they were doing. Alarm bells were beginning to ring.

"Anyway, it's not a tour," she said. "I'm going with my cousin."

"You've not mentioned her before, what's she like?" he asked.

"Not a her. Him. He's OK on a good day," she answered.

"Him? You're going with a male cousin for three weeks? Is he gay?" asked Mark.

"Not that I know of. He's married and has a few kids, so I guess at most he could be bi, but he's not mentioned it," she replied glibly, thinking how gutted Leonard would be if he could hear the conversation. And how bigoted and presumptious Mark was.

"Are you planning on fucking him? Or are you fucking him already? Or what? And is his wife going too? Menage a trois?" Mark was looking very confused.

"No, no, no, no, and no again," she said. "Well no to all of them really."

"Do I get to meet him?" asked Mark.

"NO," she said, rather too loudly. "Look, there's nothing to it. I wanted to tell you now, so that you know, and if it's a problem, I'll resign. That's all."

"No, it's no problem. Just a bit disappointed you don't want to spend three weeks in Morocco with me. That's all," he said, sadly.

Men, she thought. Always trying to manipulate you.

They ate their food in silence.

"I guess I'll go home after all," said Mark. "See you tomorrow."

Leonora was relieved. "Yeah. Thanks for coming round and for the meal."

Mark raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

They walked to the door together, Sheba wondering why everyone was so quiet.

"Night Mark," said Leonora waiting for a kiss.

"Night," he said, and walked out of the door. Leaving her waiting for that kiss.

She turned round to the little crutches who were leaning in the hall as usual.

"Men huh?"

Then she went to see if Leonard had sent that email yet. Mark's question about whether it had been booked or not had set doubts in her mind.

She flicked on the screen. One email.

"Hi Leonora

"Here are the dates and details for the crossings. Hope you can sort it out at work. Looking forward to seeing you and planning our trip........"

She looked at the screen thoughtfully.

And decided to send an email to Mark. Giving him her resignation. If she didn't do it now, she would probably put it off.

She drafted it and then edited it the usual half dozen times.

But before she pressed send, she picked up the 'phone. Leonard was always up at silly hours.

"Hi Leonard," she said.

"Hey, Leonora, did you get my email?" he said.

"Yeah thanks. When did you book the ferry?" she asked.

"What?"

"When did you book the ferry? Before or after you rang me?" she asked again.

"I booked it today," he replied.

"Before or after you rang me? I want the truth Leonard," she said. Despite all their fall outs and arguments, the one thing that remained between Leonora and Leonard was a feeling of trust.

Although they joked and teased and sulked lots, if one of them asked for an honest answer they expected it.

"I rang the ferry companies before I rang you," replied Leonard.

Not good enough, thought Leonora. Too evasive. And you wouldn't risk losing the money either for the booking if I cancelled.

"Yeah right. But when did you book, and give those all important credit card details Leonard?"

Shit, he thought. Shit, she's going to back out now. Should I lie?

Leonora sensed the hesitation on the other end of the 'phone.

"Don't lie Leonard. If we are going to spend three weeks alone together, I want the truth."

"After," he finally said, waiting for the 'phone to get slammed down.

"Bit manipulative, and not entirely honest when you rang me, wouldn't you say?" she asked calmly.

"Sorry," he said. "I didn't want to risk you backing out. I do want you to come with me Leonora."

"It's OK, I'll come. I might chuck the job though, although Mark seems to think it will be OK anyway."

"Well why chuck it then?" asked Leonard. "Got to think of the money."

"Just need a bit of space that's all. Anyway, I'll be down at some point, so we can catch up then, love to Tata," she said. And put down the 'phone.

Leonard put the 'phone down with a huge feeling of relief. He had really thought she was going to back out. For the first time ever he had been tempted to lie to her when she had asked him for the truth. He hadn't realised how much he wanted her to go on this trip with him before that.

Leonora sent the formal resignation to Mark, with a vague note saying she really needed to take some time out to achieve some personal goals, blah blah.

She sat back and felt better.

Then she composed another email to Leonard. Lying bastard.

"Hi Leonard

"I really don't think I want to spend three weeks with someone relying on them and having to trust them, when they can't even be honest about a ferry booking.

"So I won't be coming down for the weekend either. There's nothing to discuss.

"Shame you felt the need to lie to me.

"Leonora."

She looked at the mail and couldn't decide whether to send it or not. Then she decided to get another glass of wine while she thought about it.

And once she sat down again, she realised she was going to send it. That was why she had written it.

Fuck you Leonard. Oh, and Mark as well, although Mark was really an afterthought.

So she pressed send and went to bed. Men. She was sick of them.

She lay in bed and decided to read for a while before going to sleep. She carefully unfolded the raggy bits of paper and read Leonard's two letters again, written more than twenty years ago.

Then she carefully folded them up again, and put them under her pillow, as she did every night. Wishing things had gone differently.

Those plans

Leonora and Mark drifted into an easy-going relationship. They kept their work relationship on a formal basis and met up most weekends for sex, and to walk Sheba.

Of course, as soon as she met Sheba, Leonora fell madly in love with her. She was approximately four years old, and had been picked up by the dog warden when she was wandering round the streets, after being chucked out by her previous owners.

Leonora had asked herself more than once if she would have been quite so happy to continue seeing Mark if he hadn't had the adorable Sheba. But he did, so the relationship continued.

Occasionally Leonora agreed to have lunch out. More often than not though, they ate at home, either his or hers, Mark seemed to be an agreeable cook and he had an agreeable cock too.

Mark had stayed overnight at Leonora's place a few times, but it was the exception rather than the rule. She figured it was easier to keep things simple and not end up spending the whole weekend together.

Oddly enough, Mark never mentioned Leonora taking on extra responsibilities again at work. She wondered idly if it had been a ploy, but didn't care either way. The work was easy enough, not stressful, not hugely well-paid, but it made a change to go to work and earn money after such a long break.

Leonora did feel she was slightly wasted though, and occasionally looked at ads for more demanding jobs. Sometimes she thought about chucking it too, and returning to her life of leisure. If she had felt that she had been floating without direction beforehand, getting a job hadn't made any difference. What was she to do with the rest of her life?

She had been tempted to send Leonard some pictures of Sheba, but then she would have had to explain about Mark, so she didn't bother saying anything in the end. She was still exchanging the odd email with Leonard, but they were irregular and said little.

One evening, she came in from work, thinking about her future more than ever. Mark had suggested going out - or at least having sex - during the week after work, and she had put her foot firmly down.

Leonora was quite happy compartmentalising her life, and giving Mark two different persona - the weekend social one, and the weekday work one. She had asked herself more than once, if she chucked work, would the relationship end?

Pring pring. Pring pring, rang the 'phone.

She looked at the time. Mark would have got home. Was he ringing her to insist on seeing each other tonight? Leonora frowned and let it ring.

When it had stopped she looked at the number of the last call. Unavailable. That was really helpful.

Leonora decided to distract herself on the internet. She still hadn't abandoned the idea of spending some time travelling round Europe, but she knew she would have to resign to do that. Maybe she should just put it off for a while.

She gazed at the screen wondering where to look on the internet for something that would distract her from all these silly thoughts.

Pring pring. Automatically she reached for the 'phone and picked it up.

"Hi," she said.

Once upon a time she used to be terribly professional and say Leonora Smythe in her best work voice. These days she figured that people who rang either knew who she was, or if they didn't they shouldn't be ringing anyway.

"Hello Leonora," said Leonard cheerfully.

"Hello Leonard," she replied, surprised to hear from him.

"I've booked the ferry for our trip," he gaily continued. "I've allowed three weeks, so that should give us plenty of time to drive round and see lots of stuff.

"I'd wondered whether you might like to stay on by yourself to travel round a bit more, but you would need different things really, so I figured it was easier just to book a return trip for us both.

"I'll send you the details by email, but I just wanted to let you know."

"I've got a job," she said, not really knowing what else to say.

"Well, I'm sure you get holidays don't you?" he said pleasantly.

"Yes, I suppose I do," she answered. "But probably not for three weeks at once when I haven't been there long."

"Well, chuck it then, if you can't get the leave. You can always get another job," he said. "You don't always get the chance to go overland to Morocco."

"I'm shagging the boss," she said, determined to make a dent in Leonard's resilience.

"What's that got to do with anything?" asked Leonard.

This was Leonard at his worst, thought Leonora, an answer for everything.

"Well, he might not like me going to Morocco with another man," she said.

Leonard burst out laughing. Leonora was peeved.

"Whatever happened to the good feminist? One shag and all your principles have gone? I thought it was up to you to decide what you want to do?"

Leonora sighed. Noisily. "We've had more than one shag, for your information. And of course, it's up to me to decide what I want to do, but I don't want to appear disrespectful to him."

"No reason why you should. If you feel the need to say anything about it, tell him you are going with your cousin and there isn't a hope in hell that there will be any shagging going on," said Leonard, still laughing.

"Leonard, I am really tired of you telling me how unattractive you find me, and how unshaggable I am. It is just uncalled for," she said.

"I didn't say any of that. I said it isn't going to happen, not quite the same. Why don't you bring him down for the weekend, and we can all meet up. He can vet me."

"Well, anyway, I really don't think I can come," she said. "I mean, to Morocco. And I'm certainly not bringing him down to meet you all.

"Oh, and he has a nice German Shepherd called Sheba," she added remembering she hadn't told Leonard this all-important piece of info.

"Great, I'm sure Tata will love to meet her. When do you want to come?" he asked.

"Noooooooo!" said Leonora. "No, to Morocco. No, to the weekend. Just no Leonard. No."

"All right Leonora. Let's be serious. I have booked the ferry, the cabin, and the time off work. I will send you the dates and times, and you can sort out your end whether you take time off work or you chuck the job - that's your decision. And if you want to bring Mr Shagger down for the weekend sometime that's fine too.

"But right now, I do not feel like cancelling the booking and losing money. Is that clear? And I haven't seen you for ages anyway. A few weeks camping together will be a good laugh."

"I don't know, Leonard," she said.

Leonard sighed - mentally - with relief. At least she wasn't saying no. Sometimes the woman was such hard work.

"And regardless of whether you want to bring Mr Shagger down or not, why don't you come down for a weekend? You've got that scruffy Series to pick up as well which is still cluttering up my drive," he said.

"One way tickets are so dear," she moaned.

"Well, look at it this way, the trip to Morocco won't cost you too much. Remember it's my peace offering for being the cause of your accident in the first place," he said.

She laughed. "Aw, it wasn't really your fault. Well, maybe it was a little bit, but I'm not going to blame you forever."

"That's not like you Leonora. Don't tell me a little romance in your life has softened your edges," he said.

"It's not romance," she snapped. "I'm having sex with the boss, that's all. I see him most weekends, but not all weekend, we have sex, we have a meal together and we go for a walk with Sheba."

"Bit like spending the weekend with us really then, isn't it? Apart from the sex of course," said Leonard.

"Yes, I suppose it is," she answered.

"So when are you coming down then? I'm sure you can manage a weekend without sex, or have double rations the weekend before to keep you going. Or as I said, you're welcome to bring him," he said.

"We can start planning the trip seriously," he added, going for Leonora's well-known weak spot.

"Maybe the weekend after next then," she said, falling for the planning bait as usual.

"Hey, I've just thought. What have you done about cabins? I hope we have one each. Those ship cabins are very small you know," she said.

"Not as small as the roof tent," laughed Leonard. "I booked us an outside one."

"Us?" she said in a very small voice.

"Yep. Us. Give you chance to get used to sleeping with me in a small space.

"You won't want to sleep on your own in Morocco. It gets cold at night," he said, pleased with his practical advice.

Leonora remembered the last time she had been close to Leonard on the cliff top, and found him strangely comfortable. The thought of three weeks sleeping next to someone without having sex was bizarre.

Still, if everyone seemed happy with it, who was she to question this strange trip?

"Well, send me the details by email, and I'll sort out coming down to see you. OK? Thanks for the call, Leonard, and see you soon."

"Bye Leonora," said Leonard. He was feeling rather pleased with himself.

Leonora just could not resist travel planning. Leonard wasn't sure whether she enjoyed the trip as much as the planning.

He was pleased he had told her he had booked it all, and given her a nice fait-accompli. She might well have backed out if he had rung up to confirm before booking, especially with this ridiculous new job and the new love interest.

Leonard got onto the ferry companies to get the cheapest deal for an outside cabin for two.

Leonora put the 'phone down, also rather pleased. She had never thought Leonard would really go through with the trip, and was excited about everything. Three weeks away with him, planning the trip, and the whole adventure.

She sighed with happiness. Things were not looking bad at all.

Pring pring. The 'phone rang again. Oh my god, she thought. He's changed his mind after all. Five minutes of happiness and anticipation shattered with another call.

She picked it up hesitantly.

"Hi Leonora," said Mark. "How about I pick up a take-away and bring it round, and we can go for an evening walk with Sheba too?"

"Yeah fine," she said. "Come whenever you want - well not too late obviously, you know I like to go to bed early."

It would save her cooking, and she might as well broach the subject of the holiday and the leave, get it all over with instead of fretting about it.

She sat in front of the screen, staring at it, willing Leonard's email to pop up with the details of the dates and ferry travel.

But it didn't appear. So after ten minutes or so she picked up her Morocco travel guide and went to curl up on the sofa to dream of her exciting trip.

Sunday

Leonora woke up feeling very bright and perky and not in the least like indulging in D&V.

She practised talking to herself and trying to sound very poorly. The little crutches fell over laughing.

Leonora warned them that she was going to make sure they were not in the same room when she made the call.

Around 10.30am she decided it was time to bite the bullet. She carefully bundled the little crutches into the hallway, and looked up Mark's number.

Pring pring. Pring pring, rang the 'phone.

Leonora nearly jumped out of her skin. Well, she nearly fell over anyway.

Bloody Leonard. I haven't spoken to him for ages and he rings right now when I am trying to psyche myself into being duplicitous and convincingly so.

"Yes," she snarled down the 'phone.

"Hi Leonora. Mark here. I've had a great idea, so change of plan called for," he said.

"As it's such a nice day, I thought we would go for a walk with my dog first, and then go for the meal. Give us chance to build up an appetite too."

"I can't possibly. I'm ill. I got up this morning and I've spent most of my time in the bathroom. I daren't leave the flat," she said quickly.

"Bullshit, Leonora, you sound perfectly all right to me. I'll pick you up in half an hour. Bye." And he put the 'phone down before she had chance to say any more.

Shit, shit, shit. She went out into the hall and wailed at the little crutches.

"Now, what do I do?"

The little crutches looked at her blankly. They were beginning to wonder why Leonora always seemed to get involved with such bossy men when she claimed not to like bossy men.

"Go out for the walk?" suggested the first one.

"And then have a free lunch?" said the second one.

"Silly," said the first little crutch. And kicked the second one for good measure. "There are no free lunches."

"Ow," shrieked the second little crutch, and then kicked back. They both tumbled on the floor, bickering away, while Leonora looked on distraught.

"Oh, stop it," she said, and walked out and left them.

They were so surprised they stopped fighting and got up.

Leonora was undecided now what to wear. Was this a walk round the town, in the park, or in the hills? Well there obviously wasn't time for a long walk so it must be an urban sort of walk.

She pulled on a pair of casual trousers, and a few layers of cotton clothing to look ultra casual. Which she then ruined by adding some jewellery and putting on some make-up.

The little crutches stood in the hall tut-tutting at Leonora's attempts to beautify herself.

"Either you want to go or you don't," said the first one critically.

"Why are you so bothered what you look like?" asked the second one.

"I don't want to go, but he's my boss, and I quite like the money," she said. "For now, anyway."

The little crutches rolled their eyes at each other, and prepared to entertain themselves in Leonora's absence.

Bzzzzzzzzzzz went the intercom.

Leonora looked at the little crutches and then picked up the internal phone thing.

"Hi," she said.

"Hello Leonora, it's Mark. Are you ready?"

"Er, not quite, I'll just be a few minutes," she said.

"Aren't you going to let me in then?" he said.

She pressed the buzzer and felt the situation was rapidly ebbing from her control before they had even left the flat.

Mark walked in beaming at her. And then stopped.

"You look great. You look totally different away from work, so relaxed," he said.

Leonora thought that was a joke. The last thing she was right now was relaxed.

Mark reached out and touched her cheek, and caressed her neck.

"Maybe we should forget the walk," he said.

Leonora's head was spinning. She began to think the D&V episode might end up being reality after all.

"What about your dog?" She wondered if the dog was fictitious.

"Oh, she's OK in the car. She's as happy for a ride as a walk, but even a short walk will placate her," he answered, his hand resting lightly on her shoulder.

Leonora gulped. It was a long time since she had been in such a silly situation. And she had no intention of getting any closer to her boss than she already was.

"I'll get my boots," and she turned to walk away.

"Don't," he said, and gently pushed her against the wall, his arms either side of her. "I'd really prefer a fuck to a walk."

Leonora couldn't help herself. She started laughing. Mark smiled.

"I don't think sex with people at work is a good idea," she said.

"We aren't at work," he replied, twisting his fingers in her hair.

"You know what I mean," she said.

"Yeah, and you know what I mean too. Neither of us is going to go into work tomorrow morning and start talking about it, or acting like a pair of teenagers.

"Now, I have a very stiff cock and a great desire to fuck you, so let's get on with it."

Leonora was rooted to the spot. She felt that she ought to move away, but was already beginning to think it was too late. Suddenly Leonard flashed into her head. Leonard and his offensive comments about not wanting to shag her. I'll show him. Apart from anything else, Mark was younger than both of them. Rude git, suggesting no-one wants to shag me.

She quickly pulled off her trousers, lay down and pulled him towards her. As he entered, she lifted herself up slightly and put her long legs around his neck so he went deep inside her. Leonora felt slightly guilty that she was still thinking about Leonard, but she felt a smug glow of satisfaction at her Sunday lunchtime fuck.

"Why are we rolling around on the hall floor?" asked Mark after a while.

"I don't know. You said you wanted to fuck me now. You didn't specify going to a particular location," she answered moving hard back against him.

"Maybe we should try a bed next time," he said, thinking his knees were getting rather sore.

"Next time?" she asked, and paused.

"Yes. Next time. What are you doing after lunch?" he asked.

Leonora uncoiled her legs down from around his neck. And sat up.

"Wait a minute. There is no next time. Let's leave it at this. Once is fun, twice will be a mistake. And while we're at it, I don't think lunch is a good idea either," she said.

"Do you want a shower before you go?" she asked.

"Holy shit Leonora! Whatever is wrong?" he said.

She sighed. "It's happened, just let's leave it at that."

Mark was puzzled. He didn't usually get that sort of reaction.

"What have I done wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said. "I'd just like a bit of space right now, and I don't feel like lunch. Please, let's not fall out."

"What about Sheba?" he said sulkily pulling on his trousers.

"Sheba?" asked Leonora.

"My dog, the one who was going to go for a walk with us."

"Oh. Well I guess she can go with you. What sort is she anyway?" asked Leonora out of curiosity.

"German Shepherd."

Damn. One of Leonora's favourite breeds. Mental note to self, she thought. Do not get entangled emotionally or physically with men with nice dogs.

"Well, if you want I don't mind going for a walk next week with her. But I'm not into this whole lunch thing. Especially with the boss," she said.

"It's my company. I can go to lunch with who I want," said Mark.

"Yes. Just not with me today, if you don't mind."

"I do mind. I'm going to have to cancel the reservation as well," he said.

"You can go on your own," said Leonora.

"And look a right prick at a table set for two. No thanks."

Mark looked at her. "Seriously Leonora, I'd like you to come to lunch, and I'd like us both to go for a walk with Sheba. Come on."

Leonora kissed him on the lips. "Thanks Mark, but no. If you still feel like it sometime later, then maybe. Otherwise, it was fun." She smiled at him - and opened the door for him to leave.

She closed the door behind him, and turned round to see the little crutches staring at her with their mouths wide open.

Shit. She had forgotten they were in the hall.

"Wow," said the first little crutch.

"You turned down a free lunch," said the second one.

She laughed, they were too funny for words.

"Maybe some other day," she said, and wandered into the kitchen. A glass of wine was called for. Or perhaps cava.